Four Weddings And A Funeral

Four Weddings And A Funeral quotes

68 total quotes (ID: 703)

Carrie Quotes
Charles Quotes
Fiona Quotes
Gareth Quotes
Main Characters
Matthew Quotes
Minor Characters Quotes
Scarlett Quotes
THE Classic Quote
Tom Quotes

Charles and David are conversing in sign language with Carrie present Charles: We were buying her a wedding dress. David: Pathetic excuse. Who's she marrying? Charles: Some total penis. David: What is it about penises that they get such great wives?

Gareth: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation. Charles: Uh-huh. Gareth: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock. Charles: Which is? Gareth: He'll ask her to marry him. Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant! Gareth: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives. Charles: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation. Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.

Charles: There I was, standing there in the church, and for the first time in my whole life I realised I totally and utterly loved one person. And it wasn't the person next to me in the veil. It's the person standing opposite me now... in the rain. Carrie: Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed.

American wedding guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde? Gareth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?

Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Unlike you, I never expected "the thunderbolt." I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.


Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry to drag you from your delicious desserts.
There are just one or two little things I feel I should say, as best man. This is only the second time l've been a best man. I hope I did OK that time. The couple in question are at least still talking to me. Unfortunately, they're not actually talking to each other. The divorce came through a couple of months ago. But l'm assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Paula knew Piers had slept with her sister before I mentioned it in the speech. The fact that he'd slept with her mother came as a surprise, but I think was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination and violence that became their two-day marriage.
Anyway, enough of that. My job today is to talk about Angus. There are no skeletons in his cupboard. Or so I thought. I'll come on to that in a minute. I would just like to say this. I am, as ever, in bewildered awe of anyone who makes this kind of commitment that Angus and Laura have made today. I know I couldn't do it and I think it's wonderful they can.
So, back to Angus and those sheep.

Henrietta: Charles! Charles, we must talk. Charles: Right. Henrietta: The thing is, Charlie, l've spoken to lots of people about you. Everybody agrees you're in real trouble, Charles. Charles: Am l? Henrietta: You see, you're turning into a kind of serial monogamist. One girlfriend after another, yet you never really let anyone near you. On the contrary... You're affectionate to them and sweet to them. Even to me, although you thought I was an idiot. Charles: I did not. Henrietta: You did. I thought U2 was a type of submarine. Charles: In a way, you were right. Their music has a naval quality. Henrietta: Be serious, Charles. Give people a chance. You don't have to think 'I must get married', but you mustn't start every relationship thinking 'I mustn't get married'. Charles: Most of the time I don't think at all. I just potter along. Henrietta: Charlie! Oh, God! The way you used to look at me! I just misread it, that's all. I thought you were going to propose and you were just working out how to leave.

George the boor at The Boatman: If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am as a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. Gareth: Good point.

Charles is translating what his brother David is saying about Carrie in sign language David: signing Beautiful breasts. Charles: Err, he says, "That's a beautiful place. Hilly."

Charles: Sorry.. look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on... Carrie: That was very romantic. Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.

Charles: Perhaps we should've got married. Henrietta: No! I'd have had to marry your friends, and I'm not sure I could take Fiona. Charles: Fiona loves you. Henrietta: Fiona calls me Duckface. Charles: Well, I never heard that.


Serena: Excuse me? points out Charles's brother, who is talking to Charles in sign language Who's the boy over there? In the grey? Matthew: Name's David. Serena: watching David admiringly He's something of a dish, isn't he. Matthew: I've always thought so. Serena: Why are they... why are they...? mimicking the sign language Matthew: Oh, the dish can't hear. Serena: Gosh... Matthew: Yeah. Silent, but deadly attractive.