Fletch quotes

45 total quotes (ID: 222)


Gail Stanwyk: You ordered lunch to my room.
Fletch: Well, I knew that's where my mouth would be.
Gail Stanwyk: Are you always this forward?
Fletch: Only with wet, married women.

Stanton Boyd: What kind of a name is Poon?
Fletch: Comanche Indian.

[to Gail Stanwyck, who answers the door wearing a towel] Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.

Fletch: Do you have caviar?
Waiter: Si señor, Beluga, but it is 80 dollars a portion.
Fletch: Well, I better just take two portions of that, then.

Receptionist: Can I help you Dr...?
Fletch: Oh it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, I just need to get to the records room.
Receptionist: What was that name again?
Fletch: It's Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosen! Where's the records room?

Hispanic Housekeeper: Buenos días.
Fletch: Pop 'n' Taco.

[narrating] As I pulled up to my palatial, imitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar red Oldsmo-Buick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants, Esquire. Attorney for the former Mrs. Irwin M. Fletcher. Time to use the service entrance.

Fat Sam: I've got some reds.
Fletch: You don't mean communists, do you Sammy?

Gail Stanwyk: [Looking at photos of her husband and another woman] Look at her! Would you look at her?! She looks like a hooker! Could you love someone who looked like that!?
Fletch: What are you talking about? Of course not! ...five, ten minutes tops, maybe.

Love your body, Larry.

Gummy: [after Fletch gets kicked in the crotch] Fletch! Are you all right?
Fletch: Oh, yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars.

Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry.

I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Gawdawful mess. You should see my shoes.

I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.

It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine.