Fletch quotes

45 total quotes (ID: 222)


[singing] Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants...

If you haven't guessed, there's been a lot of drug traffic on the beach lately. And I'm not talking about Robitussin and No-Doz...I'm talking about the hard stuff. I've been posing as an affable, minor league junkie in order to get to the bottom of it. It hasn't been easy. I don't shower much.

Pathologist: Ever seen a spleen that large?
Fletch: No, not since breakfast.

It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine.

Hey that's you and Tommy Lasorda... [smashes picture] I hate Tommy Lasorda.

Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo.

You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

[to a Doberman Pinscher] Look, defenseless babies!

[Corrupt Police Chief Karlin surprises Stanwyk holding Fletch at gunpoint - said in the dryest manner possible] Thank God. The police.

Hey, don't talk to me that way, assface. I don't work for you yet.

Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.

In the court ruling US vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential incineration while wearing another man's suit is entitled to $10,000 worth of airline tickets. It's an obscure ruling, but a very important one. To me.

[after paying his ex-wife's attorney, Fletch walks him to the door] Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass.

For another grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.

Can I call my mother? Tell her how much I love her?