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Fletch Lives

Fletch Lives quotes

45 total quotes

Fletch Lives

Guard: Sir this is a restricted area!
Fletch: I'm happy for ya, most people live in terrible neighborhoods.

Hamilton "Ham" Johnson: So tragic when this happens to somebody so young and healthy. Was she feeling alright last night?
Fletch: She felt great to me.

Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: Erwin, admit that you are a sinner.
Fletch: Uh. Well, I've sinned. I didn't take any Polaroids or anything. But, yeah, I've sinned.
Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: The Lord forgives ya!
Fletch: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. What? Other sins? Uh, I parked in a handicap spot on my way up here. Actually, on a handicap person. I told him I'd be back in five minutes, so that's not such a big deal.

Jimmy Lee Farnsworth: You don't suppose I used too many photographs of myself do you?
Fletch: No, no. Worked for the Ayatollah.

Man on Computer: Who are you?
Fletch: Hello, I'm Peter Lemon-Jello and they told me to tell you your house is on fire.
Man on Computer: Thank you!! Good bless you!!
Fletch: (to himself) Thank you for beliving this shit!

Old Fella: You're cute! What's your name little lady?........
Fletch: Peggy Lee, Peggy Lee Zorba

Real Estate Agent: I can see you're disappointed.
Fletch: No, not at all. A little speckling and some napalm and this place could make a nice mausoleum.

Sheriff: Were y'all doin' drugs?
Fletch: Just Bogle.
Sheriff: Bogle? What's Bogle?
Fletch: It's a very popular drug. Made from grapes.
Sheriff: You're under arrest.
Fletch: What's the charge?
Sheriff: Pissin' me off.
Fletch: Is that a felony or a misdimeanor?

Sheriff: You care ta make a statmunt?
Fletch: (Sighs) Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

Southern Belle: (to Fletch) They sure do love you Colonel.
Fletch: (looking at her bosom) And I love them, too!

Supervisor: And you are?
Fletch: I are pissed!

(Fletch, dressed as a nerdy businessman, has walked into a biker bar)
Fletch: Name's Ed... Ed Harley.
Joe Jack: Ed... you sure you're in the right place?
Fletch: I think so!
Joe Jack: (mocking) Think so!
(all laugh)
Joe Jack: Ed...
Joe Jack: What are you doing in here?
Fletch: I'll give you a hint... Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
(all stare)
Fletch: You don't get it?
Joe Jack: (grabs Fletch) No, Ed... you're the one that doesn't get it.
Fletch: Ed HARLEY. Harley-Davidson Motorcycles!
Joe Jack: (shocked) You own the company?
Fletch: Well, my granddaddy started it, then my Daddy screwed Davidson out of his half, and now I own the whole thing.
Joe Jack: (really shocked) Harley-Davidson, no shit?
Fletch: No shit!
Joe Jack: (smiling broadly) Hey, everybody! Ed the Third here owns Harley-Davidson! We're the Nazis from Natchez!
(all cheer, embrace Fletch)

(narrating) All I needed now was a computer. And a ten year old kid to teach me how to use it.

(narrating) Figuring out that the guy who dropped my watch in the swamp was the same guy who stole it at the morgue didn't take Sherlock Holmes... Larry Holmes could've figured that one out.

(narrating) I never liked guns, especially when they're pointed at me.