Fast Times at Ridgemont High quotes

View Quote [after Spicoli wrecks Jefferson's car]
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!
Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit!
Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!
Spicoli: Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.

View Quote [the "five-point plan"] First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

View Quote [Jeff Spicoli has just been delivered a pizza during Mr. Hand's class]
Mr. Hand: Am I hallucinating here, just what in the hell do you think you're doing?
Spicoli: Learning about Cuba, having some food.

View Quote Stu Nahan: [Spicoli is dreaming that he's won a surfing competition] Hello everybody! I'm Stu Nahan, and I'd like you to meet this young man. His name, Jeff Spicoli. And Jeff, congratulations to you. Things looked kind of rough out there today.
Spicoli: Well, I'll tell you Stu, I did battle some humongous waves! But you know, just like I told the guy on ABC, "Danger is my business!"
Stu Nahan: You know, a lot of people expected maybe Mark "Cutback" Davis or Bob "Jungle Death" Gerrard would take the honors this year.
Spicoli: [laughs incredulously] Those guys are ****s!
Stu Nahan: [oblivious] That's fantastic! Let me ask you a question. When you get out there, do you ever fear for your life?
Spicoli: Well Stu I'll tell you, surfing's not a sport, it's a way of life, you know, a hobby. It's a way of looking at that wave and saying, "Hey bud, let's party!" [focuses on Stu's sport coat] Where'd you get this jacket?
Stu Nahan: I got this from the network. Let me ask you a question. What's next for Jeff Spicoli?
Spicoli: Heading over to the Australian and Hawaiian internationals, and then me and Mick are going to wing on over to London and jam with the Stones! [to the two girls next to him] And you guys are invited too!

View Quote Spicoli: Hey, wait a minute. There's no birthday party for me here! Hola, Mr. Hand.
Mr. Hand: What's the reason for your truancy?
Spicoli: Just couldn't make it on time.
Mr. Hand: You mean you couldn't or wouldn't?
Spicoli: See, there was a full crowd at the food lines.
Mr. Hand: Food will be eaten on your time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why must you shamelessly waste my time like this?
Spicoli: [thinks it over] I don't know.
Mr. Hand: [writes I DON'T KNOW on the chalkboard] I like that. Hmm Hmm. "I don't know," that's nice. 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?' 'Gee Mr. Spicoli, I don't know.' That's nice, I really like that. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to leave your words on my board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli.
Spicoli: All right!

View Quote Brad: Why don't you get a job Spicoli?
Spicoli: What for?
Brad: You need money.
Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.

View Quote Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Robin Zander, or the charisma of Rick Nielsen?

View Quote Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes...
Jeff and Stoner Buds: No dice! Ohhhh.
Brad: Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Spicoli: He's the full hot orator.

View Quote Six more payments, gentlemen, and this beautiful, 4-door luxury sedan is all mine.

View Quote Jefferson's brother: You see this month's Playboy? Bo Derek's tits... I like sex.

View Quote Mr. Hand: Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone?
[Desmond raises hand]
Mr. Hand: Yes, Desmond?
Desmond: I saw him outside, near the food machines.
Mr. Hand: How long ago?
Desmond: Right before class.
Mr. Hand: All right. Bring him in.
[Desmond exits]
Mr. Hand: What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!

View Quote So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too." Yeah?

View Quote [to Mark] I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of ****in' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.

View Quote Like I told the guy on ABC, danger is my business!

View Quote Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you have to get up
Spicoli: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you're gonna be late again you butthole!
Spicoli: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you're gonna be late again you booger!