Fargo quotes

61 total quotes (ID: 202)

Carl Showalter
Jerry Lundegaard
Marge Gunderson
Multiple Characters
Opening Text
Wade Gustafson

Mike Yanagita: You're such a Supa Lady!!

Jerry: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl: You're Jerry Lundegaard?
Jerry: Yah, Shep Proudfoot said--
Carl: Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
Jerry: Shep said 8:30.
Carl: We been sitting here an hour. He's peed three times already.
Jerry: I'm terribly sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.
Carl: You got the car?
Jerry: Yeah, you bet. It's in the lot there. Brand-new burnt umber Ciera.
Carl: Yeah, okay. Well, sit down then. I'm Carl Showalter and this is my associate Gaear Grimsrud.
Jerry: Yeah, how ya doin'? So, we all set on this thing, then?
Carl: Sure, Jerry, we're all set. Why wouldn't we be?
Jerry: Yeah, no, I'm sure you are. Shep vouched for you and all. I got every confidence in you fellas. So I guess that's it, then. Here are the keys--
Carl: No, that's not it, Jerry.
Jerry: Huh?
Carl: The new vehicle, plus forty thousand dollars.
Jerry: Yeah, but the deal was, the car first, see, then the forty thousand, like as if it was the ransom. I thought Shep told ya--
Carl: Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry.
Jerry: Well, okay--
Carl: Except that you were gonna be here at 7:30.
Jerry: Yeah, well, that was a mix-up, then.
Carl: Yeah, you already said that.
Jerry: Yeah. But it's not a whole pay-in-advance deal. I give you a brand-new vehicle in advance and--
Carl: I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
Jerry: Okay.
Carl: I'm not gonna sit here and debate. I will say this though: what Shep told us didn't make a whole lot of sense.
Jerry: Oh, no, it's real sound. It's all worked out.
Carl: You want your own wife kidnapped?
Jerry: Yeah.
Carl: You--my point is, you pay the ransom what eighty thousand bucks? I mean, you give us half the ransom, forty thousand, you keep half. It's like robbing Peter to play Paul, it doesn't make any sense.
Jerry: Okay, see, it's not me payin' the ransom. The thing is, my wife, she's wealthy. Her dad, he's real well off. Now, I'm in a bit of trouble--
Carl: What kind of trouble are you in, Jerry?
Jerry: Well, that's, that's, I'm not go into, into--see, I just need money. Now, her dad's real wealthy--
Carl: So why don't you just ask him for the money?
Grimsrud: Or your ****ing wife, you know.
Carl: Or your ****ing wife, Jerry.
Jerry: Well, it's all just part of this--They don't know I need it, see. Okay, so there's that. And even if they did, I wouldn't get it. So there's that on top, then. See, these're personal matters.
Carl: Personal matters?
Jerry: Yeah. Personal matters that needn't, uh--
Carl: Okay, Jerry. You're tasking us to perform this mission, but you, you won't, uh, you won't. Aw, **** it, let's take a look at that Ciera.

Jerry: Wade, have ya had a chance to think about, uh, that deal I was talkin' about, those forty acres there on Wayzata?
Wade: You told me about it.
Jerry: Yeah, you said you'd have a think about it. I understand it's a lot of money--
Wade: A heck of a lot. What'd you say you were gonna put there?
Jerry: A lot. It's a limited--
Wade: I know it's a lot.
Jerry: I mean a parking lot.
Wade: Yeah, well, seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars is a lot.
Jerry : Yeah, well, it's a chunk, but--
Wade: I used to own a lot myself way back in the late '50's. It's a lotta money.
Jerry: Yeah, well--
Wade: I thought you were gonna show it to Stan Grossman. He passes on this stuff before it gets kicked up to me.
Jerry: Well, you know Stan'll say no dice. That's why you pay him. I'm askin' you here, Wade. This could work out real good for me and Jean and Scotty.
Wade: Jean and Scotty'll never have to worry.

Grimsrud: Where is Pancakes House?
Carl: What?
Grimsrud: We stop at Pancakes House.
Carl: What are ya, nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. I want to go somewhere I can get a shot and a beer, and a steak, maybe. No more ****in' pancakes, C'mon, man. C'mon, man! Okay, here's an idea. We'll stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. What do ya think?
Grimsrud: I'm ****in' hungry now, you know!
Carl: Yeah, yeah. Jesus. I was just saying we could stop, get pancakes, and get laid.

Customer: We sat here right in this room and went over this and over this!
Jerry: Yeah, but that TruCoat--
Customer: I sat right here and said I didn't want no TruCoat!
Jerry: Yeah, but I'm sayin', that TruCoat, you don't get it and you get oxidization problems. It'll cost you a heck of lot more'n five hundred--
Customer: You're sittin' here, you're talkin' in circles! You're talkin' like we didn't go over this already!
Jerry: Yeah, but this TruCoat--
Customer: We had us a deal here for nine-teen-five. You sat there and darned if you didn't tell me you'd get this car, these options, without the sealant, for nine-teen-five!
Jerry: All right, I'm not sayin' I didn't--
Customer: You called me twenty minutes ago and said you had it! Ready to make delivery, ya says! Come on down and get it! And here ya are and you're wastin' my time and you're wastin' my wife's time and I'm payin' nineteen-five for this vehicle here!
Jerry: All right. I'll talk to my boss. See, they install that TruCoat at the factory, there's nothin' we can do, but I'll talk to my boss.
[Jerry leaves the room]
Customer: [to his wife] These guys here--these guys! It's always the same! It's always more!
[Other room]
Jerry: You goin' to the Gophers on Sunday?
Salesman: Oh you betcha.
Jerry: You wouldn't happen to have an extra ticket?
Salesman: You kiddin'!
[Jerry returns to his office]
Jerry: Well, he never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.
Customer: One hundred--You lied to me, Mr Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A ****ing liar.
Customer's Wife: Bucky, please.
Customer: Where's my god damn check book? Let's get this over with.

Carl: Hey, look at that. Twin Cities. That's the IDS Building, the big glass one. Tallest skyscraper in the Midwest - after the uh, Sears, in, uh, Chicago, or John Han**** Building, whatever. You ever been to Minneapolis?
Grimsrud: Nope.
Carl: Would it kill you to say something?
Grimsrud: I did.
Carl: "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a, that's a fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa, daddy, stand back, man. Shit. You know I'm sittin' here drivin', doin' all the drivin', man, the whole ****in' way from Brainerd, drivin', just tryin' to chat, you know, keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one ****in' thing just in the way of conversation? Well, **** it. I don't have to talk either, man. See how you like it. [Pause] Just total ****in' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

Reilly Deifenbach: Mr. Lundegaard, this is Reilly Deifenbach calling from GMAC. How are you this morning?
Jerry: Yeah, real good. How you doin'?
Reilly Deifenbach: Pretty good, Mr. Lundegaard. You're damned hard to get on the phone.
Jerry: Yeah, it's pretty darned busy here, but that's the way we like it.
Reilly Deifenbach: That's for sure. Now, I just need, on these last, these financing documents you sent us, I can't read the serial numbers of the vehicles on here, so I--
Jerry: But I already got the, it's okay, the loans are in place, I already got the, the what, the--
Reilly Deifenbach: Yeah, the three hundred and twenty thousand, you got the money last month.
Jerry: Yeah, so we're all set.
Reilly Deifenbach: Yeah, but the vehicles you were borrowing on, I just can't read the serial numbers on your application. Maybe if you could just read them to me--
Jerry: But the deal's already done, I already got the money.
Reilly Deifenbach: Yeah, but we have an audit here, I just have to know that these vehicles you're financing with this money, that they really exist.
Jerry: Yeah, well, they exist all right.
Reilly Deifenbach: I'm sure they do, but I can't read their serial numbers here. So if you could read me--
Jerry: Well, but see, I don't have them in front of me. Why don't I just fax you over a copy--
Reilly Deifenbach: No. Fax is no good, that's what I have and I can't read the darn thing.
Jerry: Yeah, okay, I'll have my girl send you over a copy, then.
Reilly Deifenbach: Okay, because if I can't correlate this note with the specific vehicles, then I gotta call back that money.
Jerry: Yeah, how much money was that?
Reilly Deifenbach: Three hundred and twenty thousand. See, I gotta correlate that money with the cars it's being lent on.
Jerry: Yeah, no problem, I'll just fax that over to ya, then.
Reilly Deifenbach: No, no, fax is--
Jerry: I mean send it over. I'll shoot it right over to ya.
Reilly Deifenbach: Okay.
Jerry: Okay, real good, then.

Jerry: How ya doin' there, Stan? How are ya, Wade?
Stan Grossman: Good to see ya again, Jerr'. If these numbers are right, this looks pretty sweet.
Jerry: Oh, those numbers are right, all right. Believe me.
Wade: This is do-able.
Stan Grossman: Congratulations, Jerry.
Jerry: Yeah, thanks, Stan, it's a pretty--
Wade: What kind of finder's fee were you looking for?
Jerry: Huh?
Stan Grossman: The financials are pretty thorough, so the only thing we don't know is your fee.
Jerry: My fee? Wade, what the heck are you talkin' about?
Wade: Stan and I are okay.
Jerry: Yeah.
Wade: We're good to loan in.
Jerry: Yeah.
Wade: But we never talked about your fee for bringin' it to us.
Jerry: No, but, Wade, see, I was bringin' you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in. It's my deal here, see?
Stan Grossman: Jerry, we thought you were bringin' us an investment.
Jerry: Yeah, right.
Stan Grossman: You're sayin'... What're you sayin'?
Wade: You're sayin' that we put in all the money and you collect when it pays off?
Jerry: No, no. I--I 'd, pay you back the principal, and interest. Heck, I'd go one over prime?
Stan Grossman: We're not a bank, Jerry.
Wade: What the heck, Jerry, if I wanted bank interest on seven hundred fifty thousand I'd go to Midwest Federal. Talk to Bill Diehl.
Stan Grossman: He's at Norstar.
Wade: He's at--
Jerry: No, see, I don't need a finder's fee, I need a finder's fee's, what, ten percent, heck that's not gonna do it for me. I need the principal!
Stan Grossman: Jerry, we're not just going to give you seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Wade: What the heck were you thinkin'? Heck, if I'm only gettin' bank interest, I'd look for complete security. Heck, FDIC. I don't see nothin' like that here.
Jerry: Yeah, but I--Okay, I would, I'd guarantee ya your money back.
Wade: I'm not talkin' about your damn word, Jerry. Geez, what the heck are you--?
Stan Grossman: We're not a bank, Jerry.
Wade: Well, look, I don't want to cut you out of the loop, but this here's a good deal. I assume, if you're not interested, you won't mind if we move on it independently.

Grimsrud: Shut the **** up or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know.
Carl: Geez. That's more than I've heard you say all week.

State Trooper: This is a new car, then, sir?
Carl: It certainly is, officer. Still got that smell!

Carl: [after Grimsrud shoots the police officer] Whoa! Whoa, daddy.
Grimsrud: You'll take care of it. You are smooth, smooth, you know. Just clean him of the road.

Marge: Okay, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting. These folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here, and then this execution-type deal. I'd be very surprised if our suspect was from Brainerd.
Lou: Yeah.
Marge: And I'll tell you what, from his footprint he looks like a big fella.
[Marge bends over]
Lou: See somethin' down there, Chief?
Marge: Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf.
Lou: Geez. You okay there, Margie?
Marge: Yah, I'm fine. [She stands up straight] It's just morning sickness. Well, that passed.
Lou: Oh yeah?
Marge: Yeah, now I'm hungry again.

Lou: The last vehicle that the trooper cited was a tan Ciera at 2:18 am. Under the plate number, he put DLR--I figure they stopped him or shot him before he could finish fillin' out the tag number. So I got the state lookin' for a Ciera with a tag startin' DLR. They don't got no match yet.
Marge: I'm not sure that I agree with you a hundred percent on your policework there, Lou.
Lou: Yeah?
Marge: Yah. I think that vehicle there probably had dealer plates. DLR?
Lou: Oh geez.
Marge: Say Lou. Did ya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L 2404?
Lou: Yeah, that's a good one.

Jerry: They said no cops--they were darned clear on that.
Stan Grossman: We gotta protect Jean. These--we're not holding any cards here, Wade. They got 'em all, so they call the shots.
Jerry: You're darned tootin'!

Stan Grossman: Okay. We'll get the money together. Don't worry about it, Jerry. Now, d'you want anyone at home, with you, until they call?
Jerry: No, I--they don't want--they're just supposed to be dealin' with me, they were real clear. Ya know, they said no one listenin' in, they'll be watchin', ya know. Maybe it's all bull, but like you said, Stan, they're callin' the shots.
Stan Grossman: Okay. And Scotty, is he gonna be all right?
Jerry: Yeah. Geez. Scotty. I'll go talk to him.