Ed Wood

Ed Wood quotes

46 total quotes (ID: 183)



[Ed, dressed in drag for a scene as Glenda, addresses his crew on the first day of filming.]
Ed Wood: Everybody, we're about to embark on quite a journey: four days of hard work. But when it's over, we'll have a picture that'll entertain, enlighten, and maybe even move millions of people.


Conrad Brooks: You know which movie of yours I love, Mister Lugosi? "The Invisible Ray". You were great as Karloff's sidekick.
Bela Lugosi: Karloff? Sidekick? **** YOU! Karloff does not deserve to smell my SHIT! That Limey **** can rot in hell for all I care!
Ed Wood: W-what happened?
Bela: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein? It's all, all makeup, and-and grunting. [imitates Frankenstein] Grrr-Rrrr!
Ed: I agree, Bela. I agree a hundred percent. Now Dracula — there's a part that takes talent.

[On the set, Ed has taken to wearing women's clothing full-time.]
Ed Wood: But, Georgie, I'm proud! I wrote, directed, and starred in it, just like Orson Welles did in "Citizen Kane".
George Weiss: Yeah? Well, Orson Welles didn't wear angora sweaters, did he?

Dolores Fuller: How can you walk around like that in front of all these people?
Ed: Well, hon, look around. Nobody's bothered but you.
Dolores: Ed, this isn't the real world! You've surrounded yourself with a bunch of weirdos!

[Ed, Dolores, and Bunny are at a professional wrestling show.]
Bunny Breckinridge: Guess where I'm going next week.
Ed Wood: I don't know. Where?
Bunny: Me-hee-co. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Ed: I don't know — lie on a beach.
Bunny: Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when those girls kick in, they're gonna take out my organs and make me... a woman.
Ed: Are you serious?
Bunny: It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller: Would you please keep it down?

Ed Wood: Bela, what's in the needle?
Bela Lugosi: Morphine. With a Demerol chaser.

[Ed is on the phone with Mr. Feldman at Warner Brothers Studios.]
Ed Wood: So — we gonna be working together? [pauses to listen] Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello?

Bela Lugosi: This... this live television is madness!

Criswell: And who may you be?
Ed Wood: Edward D. Wood, Junior.
Criswell: Ah — the director of "Glen or Glenda".
Ed: How'd you know?
Criswell: I am Criswell. I know all.

Bela Lugosi: At Universal, we used to shoot one or two scenes a day. Eddie can knock off twenty, thirty — he's amazing!

Vampira: Look, buddy, I've got real offers from real studios. I don't need to blow some dentist to get a part. Forget it.

[At the "wrap party" on completion of Bride of the Monster.]
Conrad Brooks: "Glen or Glenda". Now that was a great movie.
Paul DeMarco: Yeah, but this new one is gonna be a million times better.
Conrad: [awed] Is that possible?

Dolores Fuller: You people are INSANE! You're wasting your lives making crap! Nobody cares! These movies... are TERRIBLE!

Ed Wood: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out some time. Grab some dinner, maybe.
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
Ed: No, no. I'm just a transvestite.

Bela Lugosi: It's a wonderful idea! We'll be at peace! In the afterlife, you don't have to worry about finding work!