Ed Wood quotes
46 total quotes
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Orson Welles: Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?
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Bela Lugosi: This... this live television is madness!
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Ed Wood: Boy, Mister Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?
Bela: I have no next picture.
Ed: You gotta be joking. A big star like you? You must have dozens of 'em lined up.
Bela: In the old days, yes. Now, no one gives two ****s for Bela.
Bela: I have no next picture.
Ed: You gotta be joking. A big star like you? You must have dozens of 'em lined up.
Bela: In the old days, yes. Now, no one gives two ****s for Bela.
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Criswell: Can your heart stand the true facts of the shocking story... of Edward D. Wood, Junior? [from opening monologue]
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Minister: Welcome, brother! Do you reject Satan and all his works?
Bunny Breckinridge: Sure.
[Sputtering, newly baptized Bunny joins Ed at poolside.]
Bunny: How do you do it? How do you get all your friends to get baptized, just so you can make a monster movie?
Ed Wood: It's not a monster movie, it's a supernatural thriller.
Bunny Breckinridge: Sure.
[Sputtering, newly baptized Bunny joins Ed at poolside.]
Bunny: How do you do it? How do you get all your friends to get baptized, just so you can make a monster movie?
Ed Wood: It's not a monster movie, it's a supernatural thriller.
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Ed Wood: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out some time. Grab some dinner, maybe.
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a ****.
Ed: No, no. I'm just a transvestite.
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a ****.
Ed: No, no. I'm just a transvestite.
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Ed Wood: Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, it'll be successful?
George Weiss: Tits.
Ed: No, better than that. A star!
Weiss: Kid, you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures, I make crap.
Ed: Yes — but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something!
Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star.
George Weiss: Tits.
Ed: No, better than that. A star!
Weiss: Kid, you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures, I make crap.
Ed: Yes — but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something!
Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star.
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[Bela is doing his trademark "hypnotic" hand gesture.]
Ed Wood: My gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.
Ed Wood: My gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.
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Ed: These Baptists are... stupid, stupid, STUPID!
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Weiss: On the phone you said you had some "special qualifications"?
Ed: Mister Weiss... I have never told anyone what I'm about to tell you. But I really want this job. [pauses, takes a deep breath] I like to wear women's clothing.
Weiss: You're a fruit?
Ed: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
Weiss: You're not a fruit?
Ed: No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W. Two. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.
Ed: Mister Weiss... I have never told anyone what I'm about to tell you. But I really want this job. [pauses, takes a deep breath] I like to wear women's clothing.
Weiss: You're a fruit?
Ed: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
Weiss: You're not a fruit?
Ed: No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W. Two. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.
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[On the set, Ed has taken to wearing women's clothing full-time.]
Ed Wood: But, Georgie, I'm proud! I wrote, directed, and starred in it, just like Orson Welles did in "Citizen Kane".
George Weiss: Yeah? Well, Orson Welles didn't wear angora sweaters, did he?
Ed Wood: But, Georgie, I'm proud! I wrote, directed, and starred in it, just like Orson Welles did in "Citizen Kane".
George Weiss: Yeah? Well, Orson Welles didn't wear angora sweaters, did he?
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Ed Wood: You're the ruler of the universe. Try to show a little taste!
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[Bela Lugosi is trying on coffins.]
Bela Lugosi: Too constrictive! I can't even fold my arms.
Coffin Salesman: Gee, Mister Lugosi, I-I've never had any complaints.
Bela: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time!
Bela Lugosi: Too constrictive! I can't even fold my arms.
Coffin Salesman: Gee, Mister Lugosi, I-I've never had any complaints.
Bela: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time!
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[The Baptists object to Tor Johnson's speaking part.]
Mr. Reynolds: Why does he have all the lines? The man's unintelligible!
Ed: Look, Lugosi's dead and Vampira won't talk. I had to give somebody the dialogue!
Mr. Reynolds: Why does he have all the lines? The man's unintelligible!
Ed: Look, Lugosi's dead and Vampira won't talk. I had to give somebody the dialogue!
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[Ed and Bela are watching Vampira's TV show.]
Ed Wood: Oh, I hate it when she interrupts the picture. She doesn't show 'em the proper respect.
Bela Lugosi: I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs!
Ed Wood: Oh, I hate it when she interrupts the picture. She doesn't show 'em the proper respect.
Bela Lugosi: I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs!