Ed Wood quotes

View Quote Ed: You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movies.
Bela: Thank you.

View Quote [Ed, dressed in drag for a scene as Glenda, addresses his crew on the first day of filming.]
Ed Wood: Everybody, we're about to embark on quite a journey: four days of hard work. But when it's over, we'll have a picture that'll entertain, enlighten, and maybe even move millions of people.

View Quote Ed Wood: This is the one. This is the one I'll be remembered for. [at premiere of Plan 9 from Outer Space]

View Quote Ed Wood: Is there a script?
George Weiss: ****, no. But there's a poster. [he holds up a movie poster for "I Changed My Sex"]

View Quote Nurse: OH! My goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.
Bela: My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse: For what reason?
Bela: I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I need help.

View Quote [At the "wrap party" on completion of Bride of the Monster.]
Conrad Brooks: "Glen or Glenda". Now that was a great movie.
Paul DeMarco: Yeah, but this new one is gonna be a million times better.
Conrad: [awed] Is that possible?

View Quote Vampira: Look, buddy, I've got real offers from real studios. I don't need to blow some dentist to get a part. Forget it.

View Quote Ed Wood: Mister Lugosi, why are you buying a coffin?
Bela: I'm planning on dying soon.
Ed: No!
Bela: Yes. I'm embarking on another truck and bus tour of "Dracula". Twelve cities in ten days, if that's concievable.

View Quote [Ed has hustled a group of reporters and photographers out of Bela's room at the sanitorium.]
Bela: Eddie, why did you chase them?
Ed: Bela, those people are parasites! They just wanna exploit you.
Bela: So what? Let them. Finally the press is interested again in Bela Lugosi. There is no such thing as bad press, Eddie. Man from New York even said he was going to put me on the front page — first celebrity ever to check into rehab.

View Quote [Dolores comes out of the bedroom to find Ed dressed in drag.]
Dolores Fuller: So that's where my sweater's been.

View Quote [Bela arrives while Ed is on the phone with Bunny Breckinridge.]
Bela Lugosi: Eddie, you got me a new picture, eh?
Ed Wood: Yes. It's gonna be a great picture and you'll love your character. Have a seat. [back on phone] Listen, Bunny? Bela's here. I gotta go. Listen, work some parties, hit the bars, and get me transvestites! I need transvestites! All right. Bye. [hangs up]
Bela: Eddie... what kind of a movie is this?

View Quote [Dr. Tom is practicing to be Bela Lugosi's "double".]
Dr. Tom: I vant to suck your blood! I vant to suck your blood!
Bunny Breckinridge: Let's hear you call Boris Karloff a ****.

View Quote [Ed, Dolores, and Bunny are at a professional wrestling show.]
Bunny Breckinridge: Guess where I'm going next week.
Ed Wood: I don't know. Where?
Bunny: Me-hee-co. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Ed: I don't know — lie on a beach.
Bunny: Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when those girls kick in, they're gonna take out my organs and make me... a woman.
Ed: Are you serious?
Bunny: It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller: Would you please keep it down?

View Quote [Ed's Baptist church sponsors dispute his directorial decisions.]
Mr. Reynolds: Mister Wood, do you know anything about the art of filmmaking?
Ed Wood: Well, I like to think so!

View Quote [Ed is on the phone with Mr. Feldman at Warner Brothers Studios.]
Ed Wood: So — we gonna be working together? [pauses to listen] Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello?