Multiple Characters quotes

Dr. Seward: Would an enema help?

Jonathan Harker: [watching Mina's reflection in a mirror as she's dancing with Dracula, where it looks like she's dancing alone] She's doing quite well without him, isn't she?

Nurse: [Upon seeing the unconscious medical students on the floor] Well done, doctor! Ten out of ten!

Lover at Picnic: Would you care for some wine?
Dracula: I never drink... wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.

Dr. Seward: Allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as a man of theology and philosophy.
Van Helsing: And gynecology.
Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you have your hand in that, too.

[Count Dracula meets up with Van Helsing]
Dracula: Van Helsing... a name that is famous even in Translyvania.
Van Helsing: Dracula... are you by any chance descended from Vlad TepeÅŸ, the first Dracula?
Dr. Seward: TepeÅŸ?
Van Helsing: Yes, it means "the Impaler". He used to inflict horrendous tortures on the peasants; he gouged out their eyes, cut off their heads and stuck their bodies on iron spikes.
Dracula: They had it coming!

Jonathan Harker: [Entering Lucy's crypt and seeing her body] Oh, God... she's dead now.
Van Helsing: No, she's not!
Jonathan Harker: She's alive?
Van Helsing: She's Nosferatu!
Jonathan Harker: She's Italian?

Renfield: Yes, I'm schh-eduled to meet Count Dracula.
Villager #1: [horrified] Dracula!
Villager #2: [horrified] Dracula!
Villager #3: [horrified] Dracula!
Villager #4: ...Schh-eduled?

Dracula: Renfield, you were having a nightmare.
Renfield: A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women, heaving and grinding. How to describe it? [pause] Have you ever been to Paris?

[Renfield is having breakfast with Dr. Seward. He sees a bug on the table and eats it]
Dr. Seward: I was just telling Ma—what was that?
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Seward: You just grabbed something from the table.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.
Renfield: [thinks of an alibi] Oh, that was a raspberry.
Dr. Seward: Raspberry? We're not serving raspberries.
Renfield: Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There's one missing.
[The two men laugh. Renfield sees a spider coming towards him, and he quickly eats it up]
Dr. Seward: How silly of me! It must have been my imagin—there, you did it again!
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Seward: You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: [shouts] I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right out of the air and eat it!
Renfield: A spider?
[Swallows the spider in his mouth]
Renfield: How absurd!
[A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. He intentionally throws his fork]
Renfield: Oh! Dropped my fork! [gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect]
Dr. Seward: Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there? This is most unseemly!
Renfield: Fork found! [Comes back up] Sorry for the delay.
[The grasshopper's leg is sticking out of Renfield's mouth, and wriggling about]
Dr. Seward: My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground!
Renfield: ...What makes you say that?
Dr. Seward: I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!
Renfield: Out of my mouth?
Dr. Seward: Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wriggling about!
Renfield: Don't be ridiculous! Wriggling!
Dr. Seward: I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wriggling all over the place! The poor thing, it's fighting for its life!
[Renfield eyes the grasshopper's leg, which has fallen from his mouth and quickly scoops it up]
Renfield: I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave!
Dr. Seward: Me, ranting? You're the ranter!
[Renfield spots a fly]
Renfield: [to the fly] Hello, little darling!
[Grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly]
Renfield: Don't be afraid!
[Laughs in a strange tone]
Renfield: I won't hurt you! All I want is your life!
[Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward's lap, and knocks everything off the table. Renfield is soon grabbed by two asylum attendants.]
Dr. Seward: That's it! Put him in a straight jacket and give him an enema! Wait! Wait, wait... Give him the enema FIRST. THEN put him in a straight jacket.

Lucy Westenra: I know you've always wanted me, and I've always wanted you. Finally we can be together.
Jonathan Harker: But Lucy, I'm engaged to Mina... and you're dead.
Lucy Westenra: I'm not dead. I'm undead.
Jonathan Harker: Yes, well, I'm not unengaged.
...
Jonathan Harker: Please, Lucy! I'm British!
[Lucy opens her cleavage a little]
Lucy Westenra: So are these.

Jonathan Harker: [having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy] Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?
Van Helsing: Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.
Jonathan Harker: ...Give me the stake. No. No, I can't... you do it.
Van Helsing: It must be done by one who loved her in life.
Jonathan Harker: I only liked her!
Van Helsing: Close enough!
[Jonathan is about to stake Lucy's heart]
Van Helsing: One, two—WAIT! [Van Helsing slinks back behind a pillar] NOW!
[Jonathan drives a stake into Lucy's heart and is subsequently hit by many gallons of blood]
Jonathan Harker: Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood!
Van Helsing: She just ate! Hit her again!
Jonathan Harker: Oh no... I can't...
Van Helsing: How much blood can she have left?
[Jonathan hits the stake again and is hit with even more blood than last time]
Van Helsing: She's almost dead!
Jonathan Harker: She's dead enough. Oh! This is - this is ghastly!
Van Helsing: Yes, you're right. We should have put newspapers down!

[Dracula is hypnotizing a valet at the theatre where Doctor Seward is enjoying an opera]
Dracula: You will tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby... and you will remember nothing of what I tell you.
[The valet nods her head, opens the curtain to Seward's chambers, and stands there with her mouth open for a few moments, then closes the curtain]
Valet: [noticing Dracula standing there] Hello, can I help you sir?
Dracula: [mimicking her] Can I help you sir? [normally] What is the matter with you, why did you not tell him?
Valet: About what?
Dracula: About the message!
Valet: For whom?
Dracula: Never mind! I will tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will receive no tip!
Valet: No tip?
Dracula: Ah! That, you remember!

[Dracula picks up Jonathan by the throat]
Dracula: Arrogant mortal! You are in my world now, and you will never leave this attic alive! I will destroy you, and then I will possess she whom you love the most. And there is not a single thing in the world you can do to stop me!
[Dracula laughs. Jonathan pokes him in the eyes and Dracula drops Jonathan]
Dracula: Ow!

Dr. Seward: Give him an enema.
[Attendant looks taken aback.]
Attendant: An enema, sir?.
Dr. Seward: Yes, it'll give him a feeling of accomplishment.

[Dracula is outside Mina's room]
Dracula: [to the maid] Essie... Essie... Your eyelids are growing heavy. You will sleep... sleep.
[Essie nods off to sleep]
Dracula: Mina... Mina, open your eyes!
[She does]
Dracula: Arise, Mina.
[She does]
Dracula: Walk to the door.
[Mina opens a door, and goes inside]
Dracula: Mina... you are in the closet. Open the door, and come out.
[She does]
Dracula: Now walk to the terrace door. Watch out for the foot...
[Mina trips over the footstool]
Dracula: ...Stool. Stand up.
[Essie and Mina both rise]
Dracula: Not you. Sit!
[Mina sits]
Dracula: No, not you, you sit.
[Essie sits]
Dracula: You stand.
[Both stand]
Dracula: No! Sit!
[Both sit]
Dracula: No, you stand!
[Both stand]
Dracula: You walk to the terrace door, and you go back to sleep! Watch out!
[Essie and Mina bump into one another and fall to the floor. Dracula throws his arms up in frustration]

[Dracula exits the house, carrying a body]
Dracula: You will be my bride for eternity... we will share the passions of immortal love.
Essie: [Lifts head] I can't wait!
Dracula: Not you!!
[Dracula walks back into the house and dumps Essie on the floor. A few minutes later he comes out carrying Mina]
Dracula: [hurriedly] You-will-be-my-bride-for-eternity, we-will-share-the-passions-of-immortal-love.

'[Jonathan is drenched in blood, while Van Helsing is spotless]
Dr. Van Helsing: I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.

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