Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb quotes

59 total quotes (ID: 700)

Colonel 'Bat' Guano
Dr. Strangelove
General "Buck" Turgidson
General Jack D. Ripper
Lionel Mandrake
Major T. J. "King" Kong
Multiple Characters
Narrator
President Merkin Muffley


Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room! Note: ranked #64 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.


Well, boys, I reckon this is it. New-q-lure combat, toe-to-toe with the Rooskies. Now look, boys. I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches. But I got a pretty fair idea that somethin' doggoned important's going on back there. And I got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beins if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat. But I want you to remember one thing - the folks back home is a countin' on ya, and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. Tell ya somethin' else - this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions an' personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for every last one of ya, regardless of your race, color, or your creed. Now, let's get this thing on the hump. We got some flyin' to do.

[as he rides on top of the bomb as it falls on the target]Aaaaaa hoooo! Waaaaa hooooo!

If...we were to immediately launch an all-out and coordinated attack on all their airfields and missile bases we'd stand a damn good chance of catchin 'em with their pants down. Hell, we got five to one missile superiority as it is. We could easily assign three missiles to every target and still have a very effective reserve force for any other contingency...An unofficial study [he rifles through the binder entitled World Targets in Megadeaths], which we undertook of this eventuality, indicate that we would destroy ninety percent of their nuclear capabilities. We would therefore prevail and suffer only modest and acceptable civilian casualties from the remaining force which would be badly damaged and uncoordinated.

[Muffley rebukes] Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops! Uh, depending on the breaks. [after learning Muffley is allowing the Russian ambassador to enter the war room] You gonna let that lousy Commie punk vomit all over us like this? No offense, sir, but are you aware of what a serious breach of security that would be?! I mean, he'll see everything! He'll see the big board!

I think we ought to all just bow our heads and give a short prayer of thanks for our deliverance. LORD, we have heard the wings of the Angel of Death fluttering over our heads from the Valley of Fear. You have seen fit to deliver us from the forces of evil...

Mandrake: I think those fellas in the Pentagon have given us some sort of exercise to test our readiness. Personally, I think it's taking things a bit too far. Our fellows will be inside Russian radar, Captain, in about twenty minutes....I thought to myself, 'Our fellows hitting Russian radar cover in 20 minutes, dropping all their stuff, I'd better tell you because if they do, it will cause a bit of a stink, what?'
Ripper: I will not tolerate any special prerogatives to question my orders from an officer in the Exchange Programme.
Mandrake: Let's face it, we, we don't want to start a nuclear war unless we really have to, do we?
Ripper: The planes are not going to be recalled. My attack orders have been issued and the orders stand.
Mandrake: There is something dreadfully wrong somewhere.
Ripper: Could you please fix me a drink of rain water and grain alcohol?
Mandrake: Oh, you're going to have a little wash and brush up, are you? What a good idea. Always did wonders for a man that, Jack. A little wash and brush up, water on the back of the neck. Makes you feel marvelous. That's what we need, Jack! Water on the back of the neck and the code...
Ripper: A decision is being made by the President and the Joint Chiefs in the War Room at the Pentagon. And when they realize there is no possibility of recalling the Wing, there will be only one course of action open. Total commitment. Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.
Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, fifty years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Ripper: You know those clowns outside are gonna give me a pretty good going over in a few minutes - for the code...I don't know how well I could stand up under torture.
Mandrake: Well of course, the answer to that is, boy, no one ever does. And my advice to you, Jack, is to give me the code now. And if those devils come back and try any rough stuff, we'll fight 'em together, boy, like we did just now, on the floor, eh? You with the old gun, and me with the belt and the ammo, feeding you Jack! Feed me, you said, and I was feeding you, Jack.
Ripper: I happen to believe in a life after this one. I know I'll have to answer for what I've done.
Mandrake: Erm, yes, Jack.
Ripper: And, do you know what, Mandrake? I think I'll be able to answer for it. [Ripper goes into the bathroom]

Mandrake: Oh, going to shave, I see? Well, jolly good, Jack, but I'm...you know, I'm just sure I could withstand the torture...you know, if you could just tell me the recall code now-- [Ripper shoots himself]


Ain't nobody ever got the Go code yet. And old Ripper wouldn't be giving us plan R unless them Russkies had already clobbered Washington and a lot of other towns with a sneak attack.

Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one .45-caliber automatic, two boxes ammunition, four days' concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination "Rooshin" phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings... Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff! Pickens actually said "... have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff." but his line was looped in post-production because of sensitivity about the Kennedy assassination that had just occurred in Dallas.

Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.

Now, boys, we got three engines out; we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule; the radio's gone and we're leakin' fuel, and if we's flying any lower, why, we'd need sleigh bells on this thing. But we got one little bulge on them Rooskies, at this height, why, they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen.

Well, shoot. We ain't come this far just to dump this thing in the drink. What's the nearest target o' opportunity?

Stay on the bomb run, Ace. I'm goin' down below and see what I can do...Stay on the bomb run, boys. I'm going to get them doors open if it harelips everybody on Bear Creek.

[reading a transcript of a phone call by General Ripper] 'They are on their way in and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, fourteen hundred megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going. There's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all.' Then he hung up.