[The Joker, dressed in a nurse uniform and wig, visits Harvey "Two-Face" in the hospital. He shoots a police officer before walking over to Harvey's bedside]
Joker: [raising the upper-half of the bed up, mutters a tune while doing so] La, de, la, de, la, de, lum [takes off his surgical mask]
[Harvey immediately becomes enraged and struggles to get out of the bed he's tied to]
Joker: [sits down by the bed, sighs and with a sympathetic tone and forced smile] Hiii. [takes off his wig as Harvey stops struggling, shaking his hair back into its messy state with his hands] You know, I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and, uhh, Ra...
Two-Face: Rachel!
Joker: [motions his hands before him as he talks] ...Rachel were being abducted, I was sitting in Gordon's cage. Now, uh, I – I didn't rig those charges.
Two-Face: Your men, your plan.
Joker: [serious, smirks slowly] Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? [Two-Face tries to raise his arms] I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know...I just do things. The mob has plans. The cops have plans. Gordon's got plans. You know...they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say... [grabs Harvey's hand, Harvey struggles a little] eh, come here. When I say that you and your girlfriend [slowly slaps Harvey's hand a couple of times] was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth. [starts unstrapping Harvey's wrists from one side] It's the schemers... [goes to the other side] that put you where you are. You were a schemer. You had plans. And, uh ... [starts unstrapping Harvey's other wrist] look where that got you.
[Once Harvey's other wrist is free, he attempts to grab The Joker, the two struggling with each other until The Joker grabs a hold of Harvey's hands, moving them from side to side]
Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and [sing-song tone] I turned it on itself. [Harvey stops struggling, The Joker looking down at him] Look at what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hm? You know–you know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go [does the quote-fingers] "according to plan"... even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I told the press that, like, a gang-banger will get shot, or a truck load of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die... [voice rises hysterically] well, then everyone loses their minds! [lets go of Harvey's hands and pulls out a gun, the handle facing Harvey] Introduce a little anarchy. [puts the gun into Harvey's hand, cocking the gun] Upset the established order, then everything becomes...chaos. [guides the gun to his own forehead, smacking his lips] I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair.
Two-Face: [looks down, pulls out his lucky coin with his free hand and shows the "heads" side to The Joker] You live.
Joker: Mmm-hm. [smacks lips together]
Two-Face: [turns coin around, showing the burnt, "tails" side] You die.
Joker: Hmmm, now we're talking.
[Harvey flips the coin, assuming it landed, The Joker then looks at him]
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