Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy Theory quotes

39 total quotes (ID: 822)

Alice Sutton
Dr. Jonas
Jerry Fletcher

Do you know what it's like, Mister Willion, to think you know what happened, but to never be sure?

[At his apartment, Jerry balances an empty bottle on the doorknob.]
Alice: Is that supposed to protect you from aliens or something?
Jerry: No, no. It's just a beer bottle.

They, they start when you're young, you know, in school. They Baden-Powell all the boys and-and they Betty Crocker all the girls!

[Dr. Jonas catches Alice looking at his bandaged nose.]
Dr. Jonas: A dog bit it.
Alice Sutton: Pardon me?
Dr. Jonas: You were going to ask about my nose. A dog bit it. Poor animal is slated to be destroyed today.
Alice: And you feel sorry for it?
Dr. Jonas: It was my dog.
Alice Sutton: He said a dog bit his nose.
Jerry Fletcher: Arf.

I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.

Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)

I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.

Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!

George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!

Oswald. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?

Is that supposed to protect you from aliens or something?

It's on the tip of my brain.

In one hour, I want to know what she eats, where she sleeps, the name of her kindergarten teacher, everything.

You're after a man with no nose, not me! Not me!

If the intelligence world was a family, we'd be the uncle no one ever talks about. Agent Lowry