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Conspiracy Theory

Conspiracy Theory quotes

39 total quotes

Alice Sutton
Dr. Jonas
Jerry Fletcher
Others




View Quote [At his apartment, Jerry balances an empty bottle on the doorknob.]
Alice: Is that supposed to protect you from aliens or something?
Jerry: No, no. It's just a beer bottle.
View Quote They, they start when you're young, you know, in school. They Baden-Powell all the boys and-and they Betty Crocker all the girls!
View Quote [Dr. Jonas catches Alice looking at his bandaged nose.]
Dr. Jonas: A dog bit it.
Alice Sutton: Pardon me?
Dr. Jonas: You were going to ask about my nose. A dog bit it. Poor animal is slated to be destroyed today.
Alice: And you feel sorry for it?
Dr. Jonas: It was my dog.
...
Alice Sutton: He said a dog bit his nose.
Jerry Fletcher: Arf.
View Quote You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist-type kooks on the right wing side? They say they're defending the country from U.N. troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a conspiracy, pal -- they ARE the U.N. troops, and they're in place. The infrastructure's ready, it's a faith accompli. When the time comes, they'll just take over and we'll all be toast.
View Quote Oswald. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?
View Quote Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)
View Quote I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.
View Quote Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!
View Quote Have you ever been in a place from which hope is gone? Where the only thing left... is patience?
View Quote It's on the tip of my brain.
View Quote George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!
View Quote I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.
View Quote Is that supposed to protect you from aliens or something?
View Quote You're after a man with no nose, not me! Not me!
View Quote I know I must share some of the blame for this. I wish it didn't have to be this way.