You know what they put in the water, don't you? Fluoride. Yeah, fluoride -- on the pretext that it strengthens your teeth! That's ridiculous. You know what that stuff does to you? It weakens your will, destroys your capacity for free and creative thought, and makes you a slave to the state!

You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist-type kooks on the right wing side? They say they're defending the country from U.N. troops. These guys are yelling so loud, my theory is that this is a conspiracy, pal -- they ARE the U.N. troops, and they're in place. The infrastructure's ready, it's a faith accompli. When the time comes, they'll just take over and we'll all be toast.

Oswald. Yeah, Oswald, that's what I said, Oswald. I mean, he said, "I'm just a patsy." And that means he didn't do it, right?

Websites, newsletters, uh, self-published manifestos... they think we're kooks!

I am an American citizen, and I demand to see Alice Sutton.

George Bush knew what he was doing when he said, "New World Order". Remember those three little words, "New World Order"? Well, he was a thirty-third degree Mason, you know, and as ex-head of the C.I.A., he knew saying that would send conspiratologists everywhere spinning, spinning their wheels. And then, then, th-they destroy their own credibility!

Hey, don't get me wrong, Sister, I'm sure your heart's in the right place, okay? But somebody's gotta lift the scab, the festering scab, that is the Vatican. (to a nun riding in his cab)

Is that one of those new hundreds? You know, where they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Look at him, yeah. He looks like the love child of-of, uh, Fred Mertz and Rosie O'Donnell! Yeah, that's him, yeah. Get rid of it as soon as you can, lady. Look at it up in the light. You see that metal strip? That's a tracking device!

Black helicopters, right? You've heard about them, black helicopters? Yeah, they're on, they're on whisper mode, so you can't hear 'em till they've already gone! You know?

Why is this thing safe for me and not for my keys?

I'm only paranoid because they want me dead.

They, they start when you're young, you know, in school. They Baden-Powell all the boys and-and they Betty Crocker all the girls!

You're after a man with no nose, not me! Not me!

A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.

Alice? I... I'm sorry you're dead.