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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory quotes

97 total quotes

Augustus Gloop
Charlie Bucket
Dr. Wilbur Wonka
Grandma Georgina
Grandpa George
Grandpa Joe
Mike Teavee
Mr. Salt
Mrs. Beauregarde
Mrs. Gloop
Veruca Salt
Violet Beauregarde
Willy Wonka


Mike Teavee: What's the special prize and who gets it?
Willy Wonka: The best kind of prize is a sur-prize! Haha.
Veruca Salt: Will Violet always be a blueberry?
Willy Wonka: No... maybe... I dont know. But that's what you get for chewing gum all day, it's just disgusting.
Mike Teavee: If you hate gum so much, why do you make it?
Willy Wonka: Once again, you really shouldn't mumble because it's kinda starting to bum me out.


Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
Mike Teavee: It's stupid! [Dr. Wilbur Wonka voice-over] "Candy is a waste of time!"
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: No son of mine is going to be a chocolatier!
Little Willy Wonka: Then I'll run away! To Switzerland, Bavaria! The candy capitals of the world!
Dr. Wilbur Wonka: Go ahead. But I won't be here when you come back!

Mike Teavee: You don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. DUH!!! Second, the amount of energy it would take to convert energy into matter would be like nine atomic bombs.
Willy Wonka: MUMBLER!!! Seriously. I cannot understand a single word you're saying.

Mr. Salt: [asking about the squirrels taking Veruca] Where are they taking her?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go. Down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go!?
Willy Wonka: To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.
Mike Teavee: Today IS Tuesday.
Willy Wonka: Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...

Mr. Salt: [sees the Nut Sorting Room] Ah, here's a room I know all about. You see, I myself am in the nut business. [gives Wonka his business card. Wonka flings it away without looking at it] Do you use the Hammermax 4000 to do your sorting?
Willy Wonka: No. Haha. You're really weird.

Mr. Teavee: Is it just me, or does Mr. Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?
Mr. Salt: I'm sorry, I don't speak American.

Mrs. Beauregarde: What do you use Hair Cream for?
Willy Wonka: To lock in moisture, haha. [primps his hair]

Mrs. Gloop: Augustus, please don't eat your fingers!
Augustus Gloop: But I taste so good.

Prince Pondicherry: [about his chocolate palace] It is perfect in every way.
Willy Wonka: Yeah, but it won't last long. You better start eating right now.
Prince Pondicherry: Oh, nonsense! I will not eat my palace. I intend to live in it.

Veruca Salt: Daddy! I want a flying glass elevator!
Mr. Salt: [sternly] Veruca, the only thing you're going to get today is a bath, and that's final!
Veruca Salt: [looks at her father angrily] But I WANT it!
[Her father looks angrily back at Veruca]

Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a trained squirrel!
Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka, how much do you want for one of those squirrels. Name your price.
[Veruca smiles]
Willy Wonka: Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: [her smile drops to an angry expression] Daddy!
Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
Veruca Salt: If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!

Veruca Salt: Let's be friends.
Violet Beauregarde: Best friends.
[both turn away, obviously hating each other]

Violet Beauregarde: [after stretching into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.

Violet Beauregarde: [hugs Wonka] Mr. Wonka. I'm Violet Beauregarde.
Willy Wonka: [freaks out] Oh... I don't care.
Violet Beauregarde: Well, you should care. Because I'm the girl that's going to win the special prize at the end.
Willy Wonka: Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.
Veruca Salt: I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir. [does a curtsy]
Willy Wonka: I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Haha.
Augustus Gloop: [eating a candy bar] I'm Augustus Gloop. I love your chocolate.
Willy Wonka: I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common. [to Mike] You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. [to Charlie] And you, well you're just lucky to be here, aren't you? [to their parents] And you must be their...p- p...
Mr. Salt: Parents?
Willy Wonka: Yeah! Moms and dads.

Violet Beauregarde: What's so funny?
Willy Wonka: It must be from all those dog-gone cocoa beans. By the way, did you guys know that chocolate releases a property which triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love.
Mrs. Beauregarde: [flirtily] You don't say?