The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club quotes

43 total quotes (ID: 96)

Brian Johnson
John Bender
Multiple Characters

Title Card: "...and these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through..." - David Bowie

Bender: How does one become a janitor?
Carl: You wanna be a janitor?
Bender: No, I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here, is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.
Carl: Oh, really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things; look through your letters, I look through your lockers...I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends. By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast.

Vernon: What did you want to be when you were young?
Carl: When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon.
Vernon: Carl, don't be a goof. I'm trying to make a serious point here. I've been teaching, for twenty two years, and each year, these kids get more and more arrogant.
Carl: Aw bullshit, man. Come on Vern, the kids haven't changed, you have! You took a teaching position, 'cause you thought it'd be fun, right? Thought you could have summer vacations off and then you found out it was actually work and that really bummed you out.
Vernon: These kids turned on me. They think I'm a big ****in' joke.
Carl: Come on...listen Vern, if you were sixteen, what would you think of you, huh?
Vernon: Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat's ass what these kids think of me?
Carl: Yes, I do.
Vernon: You think about this...when you get old, these kids; when I get old, they're gonna be runnin' the country.
Carl: Yeah?
Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night; that when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me.
Carl: I wouldn't count on it.

Andrew: Look, just because you live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass, so knock it off!
Bender: It's a free country.
Claire: He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.
Bender: [to Claire] couldn't ignore me if you tried!
Bender:! Are you guys like boyfriend/girlfriend? Steady dates? Lo-vers?. Come on Sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot-beef-injection?
Claire: Go to hell!
Andrew: Enough!

Vernon: All right girls, that's 30 minutes for lunch.
Andrew: Here? Well I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir.
Vernon: Well I don't care what you think Andrew.
Bender: Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich? Will milk be made available to us?
Andrew: We're extremely thirsty, sir.
Claire: I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.
Andrew: I've seen her dehydrate sir. It's pretty gross.
Bender: Relax, I'll get it.
Vernon: Uh-Uh-Uh...Grab some wood there bub. What do you think I was born yesterday? You think I'm going to have you roaming these halls? [to Andrew] You. [Andrew motions to Claire, but Vernon points to Allison] And you. Hey! What's her name? Wake her. Wake her up. Hey! Come on, on your feet 'Missy,' let's go! This is no rest home. There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge. Let's go!

Vernon: That's the last time, Bender. That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, do you hear me? I make $31,000 dollars a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it away on some punk like you, but someday, man, someday. When you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place, and they've forgotten all about you and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you, man, I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt!
Bender: Are you threatening me?
Vernon: What're you gonna do about it? You think anybody's gonna believe you? You think anybody's gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around here, I'm a swell guy; you're a lying sack of shit! And everybody knows it. Oh, you're a real tough guy--come on, come on, get on your feet, pal! Let's find out how tough you are! I wanna know right now how tough you are! Come on! I'll give you the first punch, let's go! Come on, right here, just take the first shot! Please, I'm begging you, take a shot! Come on, just take one shot, that's all I need, just one swing... [Bender just sits there staring at Vernon. Vernon fakes a punch and Bender flinches.] That's what I're a gutless turd!

Vernon: Mr. Wiseguy here has taken it upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day.
Bender: B-O-O H-O-O.
Vernon: Everything's a big joke, huh Bender? The false alarm you pulled, Friday, false alarms are really funny, aren't they? What if your home, what if your family--what if your dope was on fire?
Bender: Impossible, sir; it's in Johnson's underwear.
[Andrew laughs.]
Vernon: You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's bitchin', is that it? Lemme tell you something. Look at him, he's a bum. You wanna see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years! You'll see how goddamn funny he is! What's the matter, John? You gonna cry? Let's go...
[Vernon grabs Bender's shoulder.]
Bender: Hey, keep your ****in' hands off me! I expect better manners from you, Dick!

Andrew: You know, Bender, you don't even count. I mean if you disappeared forever it wouldn't make any difference. You may as well not even exist at this school.
[John looks distraught for a second, but shakes it off.]
Bender: Well, I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team.
[Andrew and Claire laugh]
Bender: Maybe the prep club too! Student council...
Andrew: Nah, they wouldn't take you.
Bender: I'm hurt.
Claire: You know why guys like you knock everything...
Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire: It's 'cause you're afraid.
Bender: Oh, God! You richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities!
Claire: You're a big coward.
Brian: I'm in the math club.
Claire: See you're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong, so you just have to dump all over it.
Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being would it?
Claire: Well you wouldn't know; you don't even know any of us.
Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their ****ing clubs.

Andrew: Leave her alone. I said leave her alone!
Bender: You gonna make me?
Andrew: Yeah.
Bender: You and how many of your friends?
Andrew: Just me, just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor! Anytime you're ready, pal!
[John lightly pushes Andrew, but Andrew catches his hand and forces John to the ground.]
Bender: I don't wanna get into to this with you, man.
Andrew: (letting John go and rising up) Why not?
Bender: (getting up as well) 'Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple. I'd kill you and your ****ing parents would sue me and it would be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother.
Andrew: Chicken shit...
[Bender takes out a switchblade and stabs it into a chair.]
Andrew: Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her, you don't look at her [Meanwhile, Allison steals the switchblade.] and you don't even think about her! You understand me?
Bender: I'm trying to help her.

Andrew: My God, are we gonna be like our parents?
Claire: (teary) Not me...ever
Allison: It's unavoidable, it just happens.
Claire: What happens?
Allison: When you grow up, your heart dies.

[Andrew and Allison are walking down the hall to the teacher's lounge.] Andrew: So...what's your poison? [Allison doesn't respond.] What do you drink? [No response again.] Okay...forget I asked.
Allison: Vodka.
Andrew: Vodka. When do you drink Vodka?
Allison: Whenever.
Andrew: Do you drink it a lot?
Allison: Tons.
Andrew: Is that why you're here today? Why are you here--
Allison: Why are you here?
Andrew: I' because my coach and my old man don't want me to blow my ride. You see, the coach thinks I'm a winner. My old man thinks I'm a winner. I'm not a winner 'cause I wanna be a winner. I'm a winner 'cause I have strength and speed, kinda like a race horse. Shows you how involved I am in everything that's happening to me.
Allison: Yeah? That's very...interesting. Now, why don't you tell me why you're really in here.
Andrew: Forget it.

Richard Vernon: [reading from the confidential files] Mr....oh Mr. Tierney. A history of slight mental illness. No wonder he's so ****ed up.

Bender: What's that?
Claire: Sushi.
Bender: Sushi?
Claire: Rice, uh, raw fish and seaweed.
Bender: You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat that?
Claire: Can I eat?
Bender: I don't know...give it a try.

Bender: Oh, shit! What're we s'posed to do if we hafta take a piss?
Claire: Please.
Bender: If you gotta go, [unzips fly] you gotta go!
Claire: Oh my God!
Andrew: Hey, you're not urinating in here man!
Bender: Don't talk, don't talk. It makes it crawl back up.
Andrew: You whip it out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor!
Bender: You're pretty sexy when you get angry...grrr!

Claire Standish: [to her father] I can't believe you can't get me out of this. I mean it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything.