Bill  & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure quotes

37 total quotes (ID: 682)


[Last line] They do get better.

Socrates [speaking Greek] Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

Abraham Lincoln: Be excellent to each other. ...And... party on, dudes!

[in classroom]
Mr. Ryan: Who was Joan of Arc?
Bill: Noah's wife?
Mr Ryan: Ted, stand up.
Ted: Stand up?
Mr Ryan: Yes, son, stand up.

Ted: Your stepmom's cute.
Bill: Shut up Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!
Ted: Remember when I asked your mom to the prom?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!

[an early morning jam]
Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
Ted: And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
Bill, Ted: And we are... WYLD STALLYNS!

Capt. Logan: Hello.
Bill: [in a Jeff Spicoli like accent] Capt. Logan, this is Deputy Van Halen, down at the station?
Capt. Logan: Deputy Van Halen?
Bill: Uh, I'm new dude-sir! Look, we found your keys. If ya want 'em,better come and get 'em!

Ted: [to himself] 1275...1275... [to Bill] Okay. The lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport. I knew it!
Ted: [to lady] Excuse me! When did the Mongols rule China?
Lady: I don't know. I just work here.

Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well, perhaps we could ask them.

[Bill and Ted meet their future selves]
Ted: OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?
Bill, Ted from future: 69, dudes!
Bill, Ted: Whoa.

Bill: [Reading from phone book] The only true wisdom consists in knowing, that you know nothing.
Ted: That's us, dude.
Bill: Oh, yeah!

[Napoleon has finished his ice cream]
Waiter #1: All behold! He ate the Pig, thus proving that he's...
Waiter #2: A...
Waiters: Zyggie Piggy! Zyggie Piggy! Zyggie Piggy!

Future Ted: Rufus!
Future Bill: Listen to this dude Rufus. He knows what he's talking about.
Future Ted: Right. Oh, and Ted? Give my love to the princesses?
Ted: Who?
Future Ted: You'll see.

Ted: Where are we, Rufus?
Rufus: Austria, 1805. The French have just invaded.
Ted: Whoa, Bill, check it out! We're in the middle of a war, dude!

Billy the Kid: [to Abraham Lincoln at the White House] Candygram!
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, what can I... [Genghis Khan yanks him in the booth.]