Bruce: I know who you are. Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid, bad seed, hurt people.
Joker: I like him already. (laughs)
Bruce: You know what the problem was? He got sloppy, then crazy. He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess. Couldn't keep him straight up here. He was a kind of guy who couldn't hear a train until it was two feet from him. You know what happens now, Jack? Well, he made mistakes and he ended WITH HIS LIGHTS OUT!! YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!! COME ON, LET'S GET NUTS!!
Joker: Tell me something, my friend. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Bruce: What?
Joker: I always ask that to all my prey. I just like the sound of it.
[Joker shoots Bruce]

Grissom: Jack, it's an important job. I need someone I can trust. You.. are my number one.. guy!

Alexander Knox: (upon seeing a strange, wooden suit of armor in Wayne's display hall) Check this out! He must have been "King of the Wicker People!"

Batman: He's psychotic.
Vickie: There are some people who say the samething about you.
Batman: What people?
Vickie: Well lets face it, you're not exactly..."normal" are you?
Batman: It's not exactly a "normal" world, is it?

Alexander Knox: Lieutenant, is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City? And, if so, is he on the police payroll? And, if so, what's he pulling down, after taxes?

Joker: Have you shipped a million of those things?!
Scientist at Axis Chemical Factory: Yes, sir.
Joker: Ship 'em all! We're gonna take 'em out a whole new door!

Batman: Get in the car.
Vicki Vale: Which one?

Bruce: What's on your mind, Alfred?
Alfred: I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.

Harvey Dent: We've received a letter from Batman this morning. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me."
Alexander Knox: Question: How do we call him?
Commissioner Gordon: He gave us a signal!

Rotelli: Yeah.. and what's with that stupid grin?

Lieutenant Eckhardt: Sorry Knox. These two slipped on a banana peel.

Alexander Knox: You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say...
Lieutenant Eckhardt: And I say you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.

Batman: I tried to save you.
Joker: You idiot! You made me, remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!
Batman: I know you did. [punches Joker in the stomach]

Anchorwoman: Six new deaths, with no clues to the Joker's deadly weapon.
Anchorman: And what is the pattern? Food, alcohol, or beauty and hygeine product? Cologne, mouthwash, underarm deodorant?
Anchorwoman: Or worse yet, there maybe no pattern. The search goes on through Gotham's shopping nightmare.

Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?