Batman (1989) quotes

View Quote Bruce: I know who you are. Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid, bad seed, hurt people.
Joker: I like him already. (laughs)
Bruce: You know what the problem was? He got sloppy, then crazy. He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess. Couldn't keep him straight up here. He was a kind of guy who couldn't hear a train until it was two feet from him. You know what happens now, Jack? Well, he made mistakes and he ended WITH HIS LIGHTS OUT!! YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!! COME ON, LET'S GET NUTS!!
Joker: Tell me something, my friend. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Bruce: What?
Joker: I always ask that to all my prey. I just like the sound of it.
[Joker shoots Bruce]

View Quote That luscious tan, those ruby lips, and hair color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure. I know what you're saying: where could I find these brand, new item? That's the gag. Chances are, you bought them already!

View Quote I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep. [laughs]

View Quote Boss Carl Grissom: Is that you sugar bumps? [turns around to see Joker in the doorway]. Who the hell are you?
Joker: It's me. "Sugar bumps".
Grissom': Jack? Oh, thank God you're alive! I heard you been...
Joker: Fried? Is that what you heard? You set me up over a woman. A WOMAN!!! You must be insane. [Laughs]
[Grissom reaches for a gun]
Joker:(Pulls out gun) Don't bother.
Grissom: Your life won't be worth SPIT!
Joker: I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. You should think of it as...therapy. (steps forward)
Grissom: Jack, listen...maybe we can cut a deal.
Joker: Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me... [steps into the light to reveal his gruesome grin] Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier. [Laughs]

View Quote [Vickie sits down while Bruce stands, nervous. He wants to tell her something, but he's not sure how to say it.]
Bruce Wayne: You know my life is really complex. You know how a normal person gets up... and goes downstairs and... eats breakfast... kisses somebody goodbye [Bruce stares off in the distance, but his arms move as if to kiss someone goodbye], and... goes to a job [he makes a pushing motion with his hands, as if someone going out a door], and... [hrmmph]... you know?
Vicki Vale: No.

View Quote I saw it! I was there. I saw it all. He reached up with his dead hand and he signed it in his own blood. ...and he did it with this pen. Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check.

View Quote [after holding Vicki Vale while ascending, who says she weighs 108 pounds] You weigh a little more than 108.

View Quote Harvey Dent: We've received a letter from Batman this morning. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me."
Alexander Knox: Question: How do we call him?
Commissioner Gordon: He gave us a signal!

View Quote Alexander Knox: Lieutenant, is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City? And, if so, is he on the police payroll? And, if so, what's he pulling down, after taxes?

View Quote [Courting Vicki Vale] It's as though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.

View Quote Joker: Have you shipped a million of those things?!
Scientist at Axis Chemical Factory: Yes, sir.
Joker: Ship 'em all! We're gonna take 'em out a whole new door!

View Quote Batman: I tried to save you.
Joker: You idiot! You made me, remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!
Batman: I know you did. [punches Joker in the stomach]

View Quote Bruce: What's on your mind, Alfred?
Alfred: I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.

View Quote ["to Bob"] You must possess strength to inflict pain, Bob. We've got a flying mouse to kill, and I wanna clean my claws.

View Quote Batman: Get in the car.
Vicki Vale: Which one?