ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

The Joker quotes

View Quote Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
View Quote Batman...Batman! Can somebody tell me what kind of a world do we live in, where a man dressed as a bat gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!
View Quote I have given a name to my pain... and it is Batman. [shoots the TV in which he is watching]
View Quote Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.
View Quote [before shooting Grissom] Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me...Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier.
View Quote [In response to Rotelli's question about his grin] Life's been good to me.
View Quote [In response to Rotelli's refusal to accept his proposal] Well, Tony. Nobody wants a war. Why, we'll just shake hands and that'll be it. [proceeds to electrocute Rotelli with a lethally electric joy buzzer]
View Quote Antoine got a little hot under the collar. (laughs)
View Quote Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
View Quote [to Bob] And remember. You...are my number one...guy.
View Quote [To Rotelli's smoking corpse] You are vicious bastard, Rottelli. [strangles him] And I'm glad you're dead!
View Quote I saw it! I was there. I saw it all. He reached up with his dead hand and he signed it in his own blood. ...and he did it with this pen. Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check.
View Quote The pen...is truly mightier than the sword!
View Quote New, improved Joker products with a new secret ingredient: Smiley.
View Quote That luscious tan, those ruby lips, and hair color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure. I know what you're saying: where could I find these brand, new item? That's the gag. Chances are, you bought them already!
View Quote So, remember, put on a happy face!
View Quote [to Goons] Gentlemen! Let's broaden our minds.
View Quote [after Vicki calls him insane] Oh! I thought I was a Pisces!
View Quote [after Vicki splashes some water on his face] Oh shit! Oh! I'm melting! I'm melting! I'm melting! God! Ahhhhhhh...[uncovers his face and frightens Vicki] Boo [laughs].
View Quote I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.
View Quote Where does he get all those wonderful toys?
View Quote I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep. [laughs]
View Quote Never rub another man's rhubarb!
View Quote Tell me something, my friend. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
View Quote Joker here. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true, under that fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge.
View Quote Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough - but one thing I am not, is a killer. I am an artist. I love a good party. So, truce. Commence au festival!
View Quote At midnight, I will dump twenty million in cash on the crowd. Now don't worry about me, I've got enough.
View Quote [to Batman] I have taken off my makeup. Now let's see if you can take off yours.
View Quote And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? He's at home, washin' his tights!
View Quote Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.
View Quote My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't anyone tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun. [Bob hands him a gun, Joker shoots him] I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.
View Quote Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch. Come to me, come on!
View Quote [Courting Vicki Vale] It's as though we were made for each other... Beauty and the Beast. Of course, if anyone else calls you beast, I'll rip their lungs out.
View Quote [Referring to Batman] Why can't he just stay dead?
View Quote [Puts on glasses] You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh? [Batman punches him]
View Quote [to the gargoyle] What are you laughin' at?!
View Quote [Visiting Vicki Vale's apartment] Nice place... lots of... space.
View Quote [His last words] Sometimes I just kill myself!
View Quote [To Batman] You IDIOT! You made me! Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals! That wasn't easy to get over! And don't think that I didn't try.
View Quote Can it truly be said that I have a bat, in my belfry?
View Quote [to Vicki Vale] You know, without you, I just couldn't go on [puts his gun to his head - it is a fake - Vicky screams, he laughs]
View Quote ["in the commercial'] He's been using Brand X...
View Quote ["to Bob"] You must possess strength to inflict pain, Bob. We've got a flying mouse to kill, and I wanna clean my claws.
View Quote [" to Vicki"] Darling, I've gotta get you to the church on time.
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the