The Awful Truth quotes

View Quote Oh, I've heard everything. I'm going out to get some popcorn and pink lemonade. I've just seen a three-ring circus.

View Quote I was working my head off at the Virginia Club but the minute he started doing better, you know what I mean, why he made me give up my job and, uhm, take a trip to London and Paris and uh, I think that was pretty swell, don't you?...it was a little act, kind of uh, well, it's a little hard to explain.

View Quote Jerry: Our divorce was one of those tragedies that you read about in the papers - a trusting woman and a worthless man. I was never good enough for Lucy, and well, finally she found it out. Lucy is above suspicion and always has been. She's as pure as the driven snow, as faithful as she is fair. And I would that I had been worthy to kiss the hem of her garment. Never during our marital bliss did she cause me one moment's uneasiness. Never did I have to ask, 'Lucy, where have you been? What were you doing?' I always knew. I tell you, something wonderful went out of my life when I lost her.
Daniel: Oh, I know just how you feel.
Jerry: How do ya know? How can you know how it feels to have used up the best years of a woman's life? Well, of course, that's the way it goes.

View Quote [to Barbara] You can't have a happy married life if you're always suspicious. No. There can't be any doubts in marriage. Marriage is based on faith and if you've lost that, you've lost everything.

View Quote [to Jerry, about Barbara] Tell her I'd love to meet her. Tell her to wear boxing gloves.

View Quote Jerry: This is my day to visit Mr. Smith.
Lucy: He's only my husband for - how much longer is it now? Sixty days?
Jerry: Fifty-nine.
Lucy: Oh, that's better. Only fifty-nine days. Don't worry about him, he has a Continental mind.
Daniel: [They shake hands] I'm glad to know ya.
Jerry: How can you be glad to know me? I know how I'd feel if I was sitting with a girl and her husband walked in.
Lucy: I'll bet you do.
Jerry: [To Lucy] You know, I don't think you ought to go around telling people you're not married. He looks like a nice sort of fella. How do you think he feels?
Lucy: Why don't you go and play with the dog?
Jerry: Don't mind me.
Lucy: [to Daniel] Tell me some more about Arizona.
Daniel: Oklahoma.

View Quote Perhaps our marriage doesn't mean anything to you?...Perhaps you have no sentiment left for me.

View Quote [to Mrs. Leeson] Well, I guess a man's best friend is his mother. I certainly learned about women from you.

View Quote What in the world was Dad ever doing with a football?...Of course I remember. Pop loved Princeton. He was there nearly twenty years. If ever a man loved a place, he did - he just adored it. And he certainly kept it looking beautiful. You've seen the grounds, of course?

View Quote Lucy: [about Daniel] He's sweet and thoughtful...sane and considerate. I was married to one who was insane and inconsiderate.
Aunt Patsy: I didn't expect you to get silly about him...It's fine except the rebound is rarely the real thing. As a matter of fact, it's the bunk.
Lucy: Well, I'm serious about Daniel and I like him. I like him very much. I'm all through with Jerry. He doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't love him, and what's more, I probably never did. I'm sure I never loved him and now I hate him. And that surprises you, doesn't it? I hate Jerry Warriner and I like Daniel Leeson very very much and I hope he's just crazy about me because I think he's the finest man I ever met.

View Quote I've gotta get a deep Florida tan if it takes all afternoon...All aboard for Miami, Palm Beach and points south.

View Quote [to Barbara] I've seen your pictures in the paper and I've wondered what you look like.

View Quote [to Mrs. Vance, about Jerry] We call him Jerry the Nipper. He likes to sneak 'em when nobody's looking. So cute about it too. I've seen him go along a whole evening and apparently not have a thing to drink and all of a sudden fall flat on his puss.

View Quote Sa-ayy wait a minute! Don't anybody leave this room! I've lost my purse. [the purse is found between the cushions] Oh, well, am I relieved.

View Quote [to Lucy] I certainly acted like a prized lunatic and I'm sorry...Nothing except the most ridiculous and sickening exhibition mortal man ever made of himself. Oh, I don't know why I act like that....The main idea is, do you accept my apology? Aside from making a blue-ribbon sap of myself today, I must have embarrassed you beyond words. You took it fine, though.