The Awful Truth 1937 quotes, page 2

Jerry

I told you we'd have trouble with this...In a half an hour, we'll no longer be 'Mr. and Mrs.' Funny, isn't it?

Lucy

Yes, it's funny that everything's the way it is on account of the way you feel.

Jerry

Huh?

Lucy

Well, I mean if you didn't feel the way you do, things wouldn't be the way they are, would they? Well, I mean things could be the same if things were different.

Jerry

But things are the way you made them.

Lucy

Oh no. No, things are the way you think I made them. I didn't make them that way at all. Things are just the same as they always were, only you're the same as you were, too, so I guess things will never be the same again. Good night.

Jerry

I'm in love with love. In the spring, a young man's fancy likely turns to, uh, what he's been thinking about all winter. How long have you been talking like Amos and Andy, huh?

Dixie Belle

Oh, for quite some time. I got wise to the fact that it helps me in my work. So as long as I loved my work, you'll all have to pardon my Southern accent.

Jerry

Look, why don't you two get up and dance, or don't you dance?

Daniel

Uh, Lucy doesn't care very much about dancing. Didn't you know that?

Jerry

Did Lucy tell you that? She's holding out on ya. She's a beautiful dancer. Why, I used to call her 'Twinkle-toes.' [grinning] Hello Twinkle-toes.

Daniel

Have you been foolin' me, you little rascal?

Lucy

Well, to tell you the truth, Dan, I-I didn't think you cared much about it.

Daniel

Care about it? Why, I could dance till the cows come home! I won several cups at it myself.

Lucy

We never won any cups.

Jerry

Maybe you had the wrong partner.

Daniel

There's a lot in what you say.

Jerry

Our divorce was one of those tragedies that you read about in the papers - a trusting woman and a worthless man. I was never good enough for Lucy, and well, finally she found it out. Lucy is above suspicion and always has been. She's as pure as the driven snow, as faithful as she is fair. And I would that I had been worthy to kiss the hem of her garment. Never during our marital bliss did she cause me one moment's uneasiness. Never did I have to ask, 'Lucy, where have you been? What were you doing?' I always knew. I tell you, something wonderful went out of my life when I lost her.

Daniel

Oh, I know just how you feel.

Jerry

How do ya know? How can you know how it feels to have used up the best years of a woman's life? Well, of course, that's the way it goes.

Jerry

This is my day to visit Mr. Smith.

Lucy

He's only my husband for - how much longer is it now? Sixty days?

Jerry

Fifty-nine.

Lucy

Oh, that's better. Only fifty-nine days. Don't worry about him, he has a Continental mind.

Daniel

I'm glad to know ya.

Jerry

How can you be glad to know me? I know how I'd feel if I was sitting with a girl and her husband walked in.

Lucy

I'll bet you do.

Jerry

You know, I don't think you ought to go around telling people you're not married. He looks like a nice sort of fella. How do you think he feels?

Lucy

Why don't you go and play with the dog?

Jerry

Don't mind me.

Lucy

Tell me some more about Arizona.

Daniel

Oklahoma.

Jerry

What do you see in this fellow?

Lucy

Oh, none of your business.

Jerry

Not that I care, but uh, what kind of mind could he have that would impress you, huh?

Lucy

You might be surprised. You could take a few lessons and profit nicely.

Jerry

You'd be surprised what I'd give to get an earful of that.

Jerry

You just thought that if I'd stay up there, you'd show me exactly how innocent a night in the country could be, didn't you?

Lucy

Are you still harping on that same old string? Well, it's a matter of complete indifference to me whether you go or stay. I was just trying to make it easier for you, that's all.

Lucy

He's sweet and thoughtful...sane and considerate. I was married to one who was insane and inconsiderate.

Aunt Patsy

I didn't expect you to get silly about him...It's fine except the rebound is rarely the real thing. As a matter of fact, it's the bunk.

Lucy

Well, I'm serious about Daniel and I like him. I like him very much. I'm all through with Jerry. He doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't love him, and what's more, I probably never did. I'm sure I never loved him and now I hate him. And that surprises you, doesn't it? I hate Jerry Warriner and I like Daniel Leeson very very much and I hope he's just crazy about me because I think he's the finest man I ever met.

Lucy

I've told you the truth about all this, Jerry. Don't you see that there can't be any doubt in marriage? The whole thing's built on faith. If you've lost that, well, you've lost everything.

Jerry

Then I guess we're washed up because we've lost faith in each other.

Lucy

Do you mean that?...All right then, that settles it. I wouldn't go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum. So go on, divorce me. Go on, divorce me! It'll be a pleasure. [he refuses] All right, then I'll divorce you. I believe it's customary anyhow for the wife to bring suit. It has something to do with a husband being a gentleman, if you know what I mean? I'll call up our lawyer right now.

Lucy

It's enough to destroy one's faith, isn't it?

Jerry

Oh, I haven't any faith left in anyone.

Lucy

I know just how you feel.

Jerry

What do you mean?

Lucy

You didn't happen to mention in any of your letters what a terrible rainy spell they were having in Florida. The papers were full of it.

Jerry

Well, I can explain that, Lucy.

Lucy

You can?

Jerry

And don't try to change the subject. You think a great offense is a great defense. Don't try to justify your behavior by insinuating things about me.

Lucy

But I haven't any behavior to justify. I've just been unlucky, that's all. You've come home and caught me in a truth and it seems there's nothing less logical than the truth.

Jerry

Hmm, a philosopher, huh?

Lucy

You don't believe me.

Jerry

Oh, how can I believe you? The car broke down. People stopped believing that one before cars stopped breaking down.

Lucy

Well, his car's very old.

Jerry

Well, so's his story.

Lucy

You're all confused, aren't you?

Jerry

Uh-huh. Aren't you?

Lucy

No.

Jerry

Well, you should be, because you're wrong about things being different because they're not the same. Things are different, except in a different way. You're still the same, only I've been a fool. Well, I'm not now. So, as long as I'm different, don't you think that, well, maybe things could be the same again? Only a little different, huh?

Lucy

Do you mean that, Jerry? Are you sure?

Jerry

Mmm, hmm.

Lucy

No more doubts?...No more being...?

Jerry

Except, uh...

Lucy

Except what?

Jerry

Well, there's only one thing that bothers me.

Lucy

What?

Jerry

This darn lock.

Lucy

Oh, is that all?

Will you excuse me, Mrs. Vance? Thank you. [Mrs. Vance rises, but Lola is the one sitting on the handkerchief] Oh look, it's me, isn't it?! [They both resume their seats and Lola again pulls on the handkerchief] It's you this time, Mrs. Vance. [Mrs. Vance rises again] Look, I'll just put it over here and get it out of the way.

I guess that could go on and on and on and on.

Mrs. Vance

I hope not!

Well, I don't want to be rude but may I have a drink?...I had three or four before I got here, but they're beginning to wear off, and you know how that is.

Lucy Warriner

I'm convinced he must care about me or he wouldn't do the funny things he does.

Lucy Warriner

I've seen your pictures in the paper and I've wondered what you look like.

Jerry Warriner

You can't have a happy married life if you're always suspicious. No. There can't be any doubts in marriage. Marriage is based on faith and if you've lost that, you've lost everything.