Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery quotes

81 total quotes (ID: 50)

Austin Powers
Doctor Evil
Multiple Characters


[to Vanessa] I think you're shagedelic, baby! You're switched on! You're smashing! You're a bit of alright!


It's freedom, baby, yeah!

Smashing, baby!

[Vanessa catches Austin in his underwear] Wait, Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jumblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding, that thing, and then I'm in my knickers here and... [exhales]

Pardon me for being rude. It was not me, it was my food. It just popped up to say hello, and now it's gone back down below.

It's time to swing, baby.

[Austin tries to resist to Fembots] Baseball, cold showers, baseball, cold showers. [One of the fembots stands over him and opens her legs] Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!

[Austin Powers sees a man sitting in the corner of the restroom] Excuse me, but you didn't happen to see... [Austin looks at the man and sees that he is blind] ...anything at all.

[Austin is being choked out by Random Task; Vanessa tosses him the penis pump] Honestly...it's not mine...!

[After watching an informational video to catch up with the times] And I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming, no!

One more peep out of you and you're grounded, Mister, and I am not joking. Let's begin.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with a low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloë with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds – pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking – I suggest you try it.

Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes, Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.

That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins.