Doctor Evil quotes

That's Doctor Evil. I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "Mister", thank you very much.

Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?

One more peep out of you and you're grounded, Mister, and I am not joking. Let's begin.

Throw me a frickin' bone here!

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with a low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloë with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds – pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking – I suggest you try it.

Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes, Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.

That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins.

I like to see girls of that... caliber. [pause] By "caliber," of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters... two meanings... caliber... it's a homonym... Forget it.

Finally, we come to my number-two man. His name? Number Two.

Open the frickin' door!

There's nothing quite as pathetic as an aging hipster.

I demand the sum of ... ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit. They were insolent.

Scottie's on fire...

It's frickin' freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth!

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