Austin Powers in Goldmember quotes

View Quote It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh-heh-heh. Let's have a smell all right? Hmmm, wafting, wafting.. Ooh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Alright, analysis. Smells like carrots in throw-up! Ooh, that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick ass on a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!

View Quote Austin: Listen, dad, if you are are going to say naughty things in front of these American girls then at least speak English English.
[Nigel looks back at girls] Nigel: All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. (Subtitle: I was about to make love to this pretty girl.)
Austin: Are you telling a bunch pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? (Is this true? If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?)
Nigel: What, billy no mates? (What, alone?)
Austin: Too right, youth. (Indeed.)
Nigel: Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? (Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl?)
Austin: Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! (The insane one?)
Nigel: Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! (She was the wife of the dancer who lived upstairs.)
Austin: She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... (A lawyer who became a policeman in a truck) [complete gibberish] (????????)...
Austin & Nigel: --tea kettle!
Nigel: And then, and then--
Austin & Nigel: She shat on a turtle!

View Quote [Hanging from a wire] Isn't this magical, one of my wires broke.

View Quote I'm Foxxy Cleopatra, and I'm a whole lotta woman!

View Quote I must shay, you look toit. Toit, like a tiger. I can tell by your toit pantsh.

View Quote [Commenting on his loose skin after going on the "Subway diet"] And my neck does kinda look like a vagina.

View Quote Aw, Jesus Christ! This diapers making my nuts rub together! It's gonna start a fire!

View Quote Goldmember: Breaker-breaker one-niner, this is Goldie Wang. Over.
Dr. Evil: Ten-four there, Goldie Wang. This is Rubber Duckie. What's your ten-twenty? Over.
Goldmember: I've got Preparation H in my rear and Smokey the Bear on my back door. We got us a convoy. Over.
Dr. Evil: Yee-haw! Copy that, you son of a bitch, pile of monkey nuts.

View Quote One billion, gajillion, fafillion... shabadylu...mil...shabady......uh, yen.

View Quote [When hitting someone] Shazam!

View Quote [When confused or perplexed] Say What?

View Quote Well, all I know is, mama only got a taste of honey. But she wanted the whole beehive.

View Quote There's only two things I can't stand in this world. Those who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

View Quote Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

View Quote [to Dr.Evil] Yesh! Yesh! You look like a macho man! [mutters] Village People.