As Good as It Gets

As Good as It Gets quotes

41 total quotes (ID: 47)

Carol Connelly
Frank Sachs
Melvin Udall
Simon Bishop


I want your life for one minute where my biggest problem is someone offering me a free convertible so I can get outta this city.


I'm in a freakball here!

You wanna say no to me? You wanna say no to me?! 'Cause I've never felt this crazy as I do right now. I almost want you to say no.

You think you can intimidate the whole world with your attitude but you don't intimidate me. I grew up in hell, home boy! My grandmother had more attitude!

I like Simon! And I like him enough to batter you unrecognizable if you verbally abuse him, or so much as touch that dog again. In the meantime, I'm gonna try to think of some way you can make it up to him. I hate doin' this! I'm an art dealer! Have a nice day.

Carol: So what are you doing with a dog?
Melvin: Suckered in. Set up. Pushed around.
Carol: You're not worried someone might take it?
Melvin: Well not until now for Christ sake!

Melvin: I'm trying to keep emotion out of this. Even though this is an important issue to me, and I have very strong feelings on the subject.
Carol: What subject?! That I wasn't there to take crap from you and bring you eggs? Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?
Melvin: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. And to prove it, I have not gotten personal and you have. Why aren't you at work? You sick? You don't look sick, just tired and bitter.

Carol: ****ing HMO! Bastard pieces of shit!
Beverly: Carol.
Carol: I'm Sorry.
Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Carol: I'm not going to sleep with you. I will never sleep with you. Never, ever. Not ever.
Melvin: I'm sorry, but, we don't open for the no-sex oaths until 9am.
Carol: I'm not kidding.
Melvin: Okay. Anything else?

Simon: I love you.
Melvin: I tell ya, buddy, I'd be the luckiest man alive if that did it for me.

Melvin: Can I ask you a personal question?
Simon: Sure.
Melvin: You ever get an erection over a woman?
Simon: Melvin.
Melvin: I mean, wouldn't your life be easier if you--
Simon: You consider your life easy?
Melvin: Alright. I give you that one.