Arsenic and Old Lace quotes

56 total quotes

Elaine Harper
Jonathan Brewster
Mortimer Brewster
Other
Teddy

View Quote I shall be in my office vetoing some bills.

View Quote [explaining to Elaine why they shouldn't be married] You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.

View Quote [to elderly guest] You... Get out of here! D'ya wanna be poisoned? D'ya wanna be murdered? D'ya wanna be killed?

View Quote We better not leave the car parked in the street; it might be against the law.

View Quote [trying to make Jonathan leave] Now, here's ten dollars. Why don't you be a good sport and go out and haunt yourself a hotel?

View Quote Even the cat's in on it!

View Quote [to Jonathan] Where did you get that face? Hollywood?

View Quote Certainly there are thirteen bodies in the cellar and there are hundreds more in the attic!

View Quote [after finding the dead body in the window seat]
Mortimer: But — what happened to him?
Martha: [cheerfully] He died.

View Quote Teddy: Mr. Witherfork!
Mr. Witherspoon: Spoon!
Mortimer: [hands him spoon] Oh, here you go.

View Quote [to Mortimer] If you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, I'll tell him what's in the cellar. There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead.

View Quote CHAAARGE!!!

View Quote When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!

View Quote [Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with Elaine]
Elaine: Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking?
Mortimer: Yes, right out here in the open with everyone looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!

View Quote [to his aunts] This is developing into a very bad habit! I don't know if I can explain it to you. It's not only against the law, it's wrong!