Arsenic and Old Lace

Arsenic and Old Lace quotes

56 total quotes (ID: 676)

Elaine Harper
Jonathan Brewster
Mortimer Brewster

Even the cat's in on it!

[explaining to Elaine why they shouldn't be married] You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.

[last lines] No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm the son of a sea-cook! Ha! Ha! Chaaaaarrrge!

Teddy: Mr. Witherfork!
Mr. Witherspoon: Spoon!
Mortimer: [hands him spoon] Oh, here you go.

[Meeting with Dr. Gilchrist in the cemetery] Pull up a tombstone!

Teddy: [charging up the stairs] CHARGE!!!Charge the bunk house!!!
Reverend Harper: The bunkhouse?
Abby: Yes. The stairs are always San Juan Hill.

[to his aunts] This is developing into a very bad habit! I don't know if I can explain it to you. It's not only against the law, it's wrong!

Rev. Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
Abby: Oh, no.
Martha Brewster: Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
Abby: Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington, it would be a change for him, and we suggested it.
Martha: And do you know what happened? He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody.

[repeated line] Go to bed, Aunt Abby!

[to Jonathan] Where did you get that face? Hollywood?

When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!

[watching the fighting, lighting up a cigarette] Go on — fight, fight. I don't care. [watching the police trying to bring down Jonathan with a shoe] Oh, don't do that. It never works. [Jonathan collapses] What do you know? it worked!

Mortimer: [Speaking of a character in a play he has seen] He just sits there waiting to be gagged and tied — the big dope!
Dr. Einstein: You know, you were right about that fellow. He wasn't very bright.

All I did was cross the bridge and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing.