Arsenic and Old Lace quotes

56 total quotes

Elaine Harper
Jonathan Brewster
Mortimer Brewster
Other
Teddy

View Quote Rev. Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt?
Abby: Oh, no.
Martha Brewster: Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt.
Abby: Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if he'd be George Washington, it would be a change for him, and we suggested it.
Martha: And do you know what happened? He just stayed under his bed for days and wouldn't be anybody.

View Quote [explaining to Elaine why they shouldn't be married] You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.

View Quote [to elderly guest] You... Get out of here! D'ya wanna be poisoned? D'ya wanna be murdered? D'ya wanna be killed?

View Quote I shall be in my office vetoing some bills.

View Quote Even the cat's in on it!

View Quote We better not leave the car parked in the street; it might be against the law.

View Quote [trying to make Jonathan leave] Now, here's ten dollars. Why don't you be a good sport and go out and haunt yourself a hotel?

View Quote Teddy: Mr. Witherfork!
Mr. Witherspoon: Spoon!
Mortimer: [hands him spoon] Oh, here you go.

View Quote Certainly there are thirteen bodies in the cellar and there are hundreds more in the attic!

View Quote [after finding the dead body in the window seat]
Mortimer: But — what happened to him?
Martha: [cheerfully] He died.

View Quote [to Mortimer] If you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, I'll tell him what's in the cellar. There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead.

View Quote CHAAARGE!!!

View Quote Mortimer: Wait outside.
Dr. Gilchrist: But it's Halloween!
Mortimer: Oh, don't worry about Halloween. The pixies won't be out till after midnight

View Quote When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!

View Quote [to his aunts] This is developing into a very bad habit! I don't know if I can explain it to you. It's not only against the law, it's wrong!