Annie Hall quotes

View Quote [on why he doesn't drive] I got a license but I have too much hostility.

View Quote Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

View Quote I was a great athlete...I was all-school yard.

View Quote Alvy: The failure of the country to get behind New York City is Anti-Semitism.
Rob: Max, the city is terribly run.
Alvy: But I'm not discussing politics or economics. This is foreskin.
Rob: No, no, Max. That's a very convenient out. Every time some group disagrees with you, it's because of Anti-Semitism.
Alvy: Don't you see? The rest of the country looks upon New York like we're Left-Wing, Communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers. I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.

View Quote Alvy: You look like a very happy couple...How do you account for it?
Young Woman: I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Boyfriend: And I'm exactly the same way.

View Quote Alvy: I'm so tired of spending evenings making fake insights with people who work for Dysentery.
Robin: Commentary.
Alvy: Oh, really? I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.

View Quote Alvy: Hey, what is this? You got black soap?
Annie: It's for my complexion.
Alvy: What - are you joining a minstrel show?

View Quote Alvy: Hey, you are in a bad mood. You must be getting your period.
Annie: I'm not getting my period. Jesus, every time anything out of the ordinary happens, you think that I'm getting my period.

View Quote Tony's girlfriend: You're Alvy Singer, right? Didn't we meet at EST?
Alvy: EST? No, no, I was never to EST.
Tony's girlfriend: Then how can you criticize it?...
Alvy: No, no, no, I came out here to get some shock therapy, but there was an energy crisis...Hey, you guys are wearing white. It must be in the stars...Uri Geller must be on the premises someplace.
Rob: We're gonna operate together.

View Quote Mrs. Hall: How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer?
Mrs. Singer: We fast.
Mr. Hall: Fast?
Mr. Singer: No food. You know, to atone for our sins.
Mrs. Hall: What sins? I don't understand.
Mr. Singer: To tell you the truth, neither do we.

View Quote Alvy: Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
Annie: Well, have you ever made love high?
Alvy: Me? No. I - I, you know, If I have grass or alcohol or anything, I get unbearably wonderful. I get too, too wonderful for words. I don't know why you have to get high every time we make love.
Annie: It relaxes me.
Alvy: You have to be artificially relaxed before we can go to bed?
Annie: Well, what's the difference anyway?
Alvy: Well, I'll give you a shot of sodium pentothal. You can sleep through it.
Annie: Oh come on. Look who's talking. You've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years. You should smoke some of this. You'd be off the couch in no time.

View Quote Alvy: Well, I don't know what I did wrong. I mean, I can't believe this. Somewhere, she cooled off to me. Is it something that I did?
Stranger: It's never something you do. That's how people are. Love fades.

View Quote Pam: Sex with you is really a Kafka-esque experience.
Alvy: Oh. Thank you.
Pam: I mean that as a compliment.
Alvy: I think, I think there's too much burden placed on the orgasm, you know, to make up for empty areas in life.
Pam: Who said that?
Alvy: It may have been Leopold and Loeb.

View Quote Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this because, as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving on the road at night I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast, I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. Flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Alvy: Right. Well, I have to - I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.

View Quote Annie: Well, you are what Grammy Hall would call a 'real Jew.'
Alvy: Thank you.
Annie: Yeah, well, she hates Jews. She thinks they just make money, but let me tell ya, I mean, she's the one. Is she ever, I'm tellin' ya.