Annie Hall quotes

View Quote I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics.

View Quote Why don't you get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?...Are you going with a right-wing rock 'n roll star?

View Quote Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

View Quote I was a great athlete...I was all-school yard.

View Quote You know, I don't think I could take a mellow evening because I - I don't respond well to mellow. You know what I mean? I have a tendency to - if I get too mellow, I - I ripen and then rot, you know.

View Quote The incredible thing about it is, I'm paying for her analysis and she's making progress, and I'm getting screwed...It's absurd. She's making progress and I'm not making any progress. And her progress is killing my progress.

View Quote She's a 10, Max, and that's great for you because you're - you're used to two's, aren't you?

View Quote After that, it got pretty late and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again and I realized what a terrific person she was and how much fun it was just knowing her...and I thought of that old joke, you know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'Well why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and - but uh, I guess we keep going through it...because...most of us need the eggs.

View Quote You're the reason that I got out of my room and that I was able to sing and, and, and you know get more in touch with my feelings and all that crap.

View Quote Partygoer #2: Not only is he a good agent, but he really gives good meeting.

View Quote Alvy (young): What did I do?
Teacher: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Alvy (adult): Why, I was just expressing a healthy sexual curiosity.
Teacher: Six year old boys don't have girls on their minds.
Alvy (adult): I did.
Girl: For god's sakes, Alvy, even Freud speaks of a latency period.
Alvy (adult): Well I never had a latency period. I can't help it.
Teacher: Why couldn't you have been more like Donald? Now there was a model boy.

View Quote Alvy: Hey, you are in a bad mood. You must be getting your period.
Annie: I'm not getting my period. Jesus, every time anything out of the ordinary happens, you think that I'm getting my period.

View Quote Annie Hall: So you wanna go into the movie or what?
Alvy Singer: No, I've got to see a picture exactly from the start to the finish, 'cause, 'cause I'm anal.
Annie Hall: Ha! That's a polite word for what you are.

View Quote Alvy: Do you know what a hostile gesture that is to me?
Annie: I know, because of our sexual problem, right?
Alvy: Everybody on line at The New Yorker has to know our rate of intercourse?
Annie: You know, you're so ego-centric that if I miss my therapy, you can only think of it in terms of how it affects you!
...
Alvy: What do you mean, our sexual problem? I mean, I'm comparatively normal for a guy raised in Brooklyn.
Annie: OK, I'm very sorry. My sexual problem, OK? My sexual problem. Huh? [A man in front of them in line turns back to look at them, and then turns away]
Alvy: I never read that. That was, that was Henry James, right? Novel, huh, the sequel to The Turn of the Screw, 'My Sexual Problem'?

View Quote Alvy: The Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card and you'd tell 'em everything.
Annie: That movie makes me feel guilty.
Alvy: Cause it's supposed to.