American Splendor quotes

33 total quotes

View Quote I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty...Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.

View Quote Man, she's got good looking handwriting.

View Quote Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.

View Quote Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.

View Quote Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!

View Quote Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.

View Quote I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.

View Quote I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.

View Quote [referring to David Letterman] Megalomaniac.

View Quote I recommend the pi?a coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.

View Quote [to Harvey] You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.

View Quote [regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"] Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.

View Quote Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.

View Quote Young Harvey: I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?

View Quote Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?