I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty...Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.

Man, she's got good looking handwriting.

Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.

Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.

Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!

Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.

I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.

I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.

[referring to David Letterman] Megalomaniac.

I recommend the pi?a coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.

[to Harvey] You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.

[regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"] Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.

Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.

Young Harvey: I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?

Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?