American Pie 2

American Pie 2 quotes

49 total quotes (ID: 32)

Jim Levenstein
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler


[answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stif-meister's palace of love--uh, straight love.


When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you ****ers learn anything in college?

Trumpet Kid: You suck, retard.
Jim: I'm not retarded. I'm a very special boy. [Jim uses the slide of the trombone to hit the kid in the face.]

Michelle: Now don't freak out. I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
[loud thumping/sucking noise]
Jim: Ow, that's cold. What is that?
Michelle: I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?

Ladies, I am down with the funky shit.

Where are the ****ing females?

I kind of super-glued myself to, uh, myself.

[When walking past a girl in a short skirt before a lecture]] Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties! There's little hearts on her panties!

[Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes, the one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a PTA meeting.

Jim, can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.

Jim: What are you doing here?
Stifler's Brother: Pussy, man! I'm here for the pussy.
Jim: [nonchalant] Take a number.

Jim: Was I any good that night?
Michelle: Oh, Jeez, how could I forget? [pregnant pause] You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doin'. But wasn't it fun, even though you were so terrible?
Jim: I-I'm sorry, "terrible?"
Michelle: I've had worse.
Jim: Oh.
Michelle: Oh, sorry. I just, ah, I could give you some pointers, if you want.

Nadia: **** me, geek!
Sherman: Affirmative!

[Thinks champagne is being poured onto his head when he's actually being urinated on from the balcony] Oh, I can taste the bubbles! Actually, I can't.

[Jim is kissing Michelle's collar bone]
Michelle: Good Jim. Ooh, you're making me wet.
Jim: Holy shit, really?
Michelle: No, I was just saying that so you could practice.
Jim: 'Course.