American Pie 2 quotes

49 total quotes

Jim Levenstein
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler

View Quote Michelle: Now don't freak out. I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
[loud thumping/sucking noise]
Jim: Ow, that's cold. What is that?
Michelle: I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?

View Quote Where are the ****ing females?

View Quote [Thinks champagne is being poured onto his head when he's actually being urinated on from the balcony] Oh, I can taste the bubbles! Actually, I can't.

View Quote Male EMT: [when Stifler jumps onto the ambulance where Jim is being treated] Excuse me, sir, are you a family member?
Stifler: **** no, this is just too good to miss!
Male EMT: Okay sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right?
Stifler: [Giving Jim the thumbs-up as the ambulance drives away] Ha-ha! This summer's turned out to be great!

View Quote [When walking past a girl in a short skirt before a lecture]] Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties! There's little hearts on her panties!

View Quote [answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stif-meister's palace of love--uh, straight love.

View Quote Michelle's Friend: You are so sweet. He is special.
Michelle: He's my bitch.

View Quote Oh God, I kissed Jim.

View Quote Trumpet Kid: You suck, r****d.
Jim: I'm not ****ed. I'm a very special boy. [Jim uses the slide of the trombone to hit the kid in the face.]

View Quote This is my first time, uh, si-since my first time.

View Quote Jim: Was I any good that night?
Michelle: Oh, Jeez, how could I forget? [pregnant pause] You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doin'. But wasn't it fun, even though you were so terrible?
Jim: I-I'm sorry, "terrible?"
Michelle: I've had worse.
Jim: Oh.
Michelle: Oh, sorry. I just, ah, I could give you some pointers, if you want.

View Quote [Two uniformed police officers break up Stifler's house party.]
Officer: Where's Steve Stifler?
[Stifler enters from the balcony incident, wet and looking distraught]
Stifler: I got peed on.

View Quote Jim: What are you doing here?
Stifler's Brother: Pussy, man! I'm here for the pussy.
Jim: [nonchalant] Take a number.

View Quote [Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes, the one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a PTA meeting.

View Quote [Jim is kissing Michelle's collar bone]
Michelle: Good Jim. Ooh, you're making me wet.
Jim: Holy shit, really?
Michelle: No, I was just saying that so you could practice.
Jim: 'Course.