Steve Stifler quotes
Oh, yeah! The Stif-meister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls, bye-bye Great Falls, wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Jim, can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.
[Thinks champagne is being poured onto his head when he's actually being urinated on from the balcony] Oh, I can taste the bubbles! Actually, I can't.
When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything in college?
[When walking past a girl in a short skirt before a lecture]] Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties! There's little hearts on her panties!
Ladies, I am down with the funky shit.
[answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stif-meister's palace of love--uh, straight love.
Where are the fucking females?
Oh God, I kissed Jim.
[after Finch describes watering a ficus as a "pure tantric moment"] Finch, stay the fuck away from that ficus. That is a jizz-free ficus.
Finch, fist yourself!
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