Airplane! quotes

View Quote Johnny  : Me John! Big tree.

View Quote [Capt. Oveur to Joey] Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

View Quote Joey, do you ever.. hang around the gymnasium?

View Quote Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

View Quote Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

View Quote Talk Show Guest: They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting in to. I say, let 'em crash!
Elaine: Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners?
First Jive Passenger: Bet, babe. Slide a piece o' da' porter. Drink side, run da' java.
Second Jive Passenger: Lookie here. I can dig grease 'n chompin' on some buns and draggin' through the garden.
Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Passenger: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Passenger: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady Passenger: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady Passenger: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady Passenger: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Passenger: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady Passenger: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Passenger: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady Passenger: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!
Passenger: Oh...it's my stomach. I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.
Young Girl Passenger: *when offered cream for her coffee* No thank you, I take it black...like my men.

View Quote Striker: Surely you can't be serious?
Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Note: this exchange is ranked #79 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.

View Quote Rumack: What flying experience have you had?
Striker: I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this plane has four engines. It's an entirely different kind of flying... altogether.
All (Together): "It's an entirely different kind of flying."

View Quote Elaine: Ted! What are you doing here! You can't fly this plane!
Striker: That's what I've been trying to tell these people!

View Quote Tower: Flight two-zero niner, you're cleared for take-off.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower: L.A. departure frequency one two three point niner.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Huh?
Tower: Flight two-zero niner, cleared for vector three-two-four.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
Tower: Tower Radio, clearance, over.
Oveur: That's 'Clarence Oveur', over.
Tower: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: What?
Capt. Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

View Quote Murdock: Do you want me to check the weather, Clarence?
Capt. Oveur: No, why don't you take care of it.

View Quote Randy: Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the ****pit...
Striker: The ****pit...what is it?
Randy: It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.

View Quote Elaine: Would you like something to read?
Old Lady: Do you have anything light?
Elaine: Uhh...how about this leaflet, Famous Jewish Sports Legends?

View Quote Elaine: You got a telegram from headquarters today.
Striker: Headquarters? What is it?
Elaine: Well, it's a big building where generals meet. But that's not important right now.

View Quote Dr Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can, this woman has to be gotten to a hospital..
Elaine: A hospital! What is it?
Dr Rumack: It's a big building with patients and doctors and nurses but that's not important right now.