Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls quotes
67 total quotesAce Ventura
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[Discussing how he will infiltrate the Wachootoo tribe] Worry not, my brother. I will be as a fly on the wall. A grain of salt in the ocean. I shall slip amongst them like a transparent... thing.
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Fulton Greenwall: My name is Fulton Greenwall, and I am looking for an Ace Ventura.
Ashram Monk: No man here... carries with him... a label...
Fulton Greenwall: Oh yes. No names, how silly of me. Umm, he is an American.
Ashram Monk: We are all children... of the same life force...
Fulton Greenwall: [thinking of any other descriptions] Yes, well, he bends over and speaks from his rear.
Ashram Monk: Oh, him. This way.
Ashram Monk: No man here... carries with him... a label...
Fulton Greenwall: Oh yes. No names, how silly of me. Umm, he is an American.
Ashram Monk: We are all children... of the same life force...
Fulton Greenwall: [thinking of any other descriptions] Yes, well, he bends over and speaks from his rear.
Ashram Monk: Oh, him. This way.
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Hey, what are ya, HR Shove-N-Stuff?
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I had a dog, and his name was... BINGO!
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We love you, dark continent! Good night!
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[Watchootoo chief speaks in Watchootoo to Ace]
Ouda: Wachootoo Chief say, "You friend to Watchootoo."
[Ace snorts and the Watchootoo chief speaks again]
Ouda: "But if curse of Shikaka not lifted by tomorrow sun at top of sky, Wachootoo kill all Wachati, and smash your head on a rock."
Ace Ventura: ...Super. Take care now, bye-bye then.
Ouda: Wachootoo Chief say, "You friend to Watchootoo."
[Ace snorts and the Watchootoo chief speaks again]
Ouda: "But if curse of Shikaka not lifted by tomorrow sun at top of sky, Wachootoo kill all Wachati, and smash your head on a rock."
Ace Ventura: ...Super. Take care now, bye-bye then.
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[pelvic thrusting] Can you feel that, huh, can ya feel it, Captain Compost?!
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[Ace is losing against the Tiny Warrior in the Watchootoo Circle of Death]
Ouda: Ace! He much better fighter than you.
Ace Ventura: [looks annoyed] Doi!
Ouda: Ace! He much better fighter than you.
Ace Ventura: [looks annoyed] Doi!
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That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! [gasps] DAMN, I'M GOOD!
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The Tiny Warrior: [shrieking in Watchootoo]
Ace Ventura: What did he just say?
Fulton Greenwall: I think he said that she is not a virgin. [looks at Ace]
Ace Ventura: ...They can tell that!?
Ace Ventura: What did he just say?
Fulton Greenwall: I think he said that she is not a virgin. [looks at Ace]
Ace Ventura: ...They can tell that!?
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Guano! Hello? Does "poop" ring a bell? [quotes from a book] "Guano: mines as a source of nitrate, producing 84% of the world's supply in fertilizer, a $1.4 billion industy." THAT'S what this war is all about! You can't legally take possession of the caves as long as the Wachatis inhabit the area... and you want that dooky so bad, you can taste it!
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Don't mind me, Mr Quinn. I'm just a curious little rhino!
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TAKE THAT, YOU WINGED SPAWN OF SATAN!
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The urine stain on your pants signifies that you are a single-shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.
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[after the Tiny Warrior changes his hairstyle to resemble horns] All right! This White Devil thing has gone far enough. NOBODY... MESSES... WITH THE DO!