Withnail and I quotes

35 total quotes

Multiple Characters
Uncle Monty

View Quote [They pass some schoolgirls.]
Withnail: Scrubbers!
Scrubbers: Up yours, granddad!
Withnail: Scrubbers! Scrubbers!
Marwood: Shut up.
Withnail: Little tarts. They love it.

View Quote Withnail: You've had an audition. Why can't I have an audition? It's ridiculous. I've been to drama school. I'm good-looking. I tell you, I've a **** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. Why can't I get on television?
Marwood: Well, I don't know. It'll happen.
Withnail: Will it? That's what you say. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the ****ing news.

View Quote Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of ****ing nowhere without aspirins?
Marwood: Where are we?
Withnail: How should I know where we are? I feel like a pig shat in my head.

View Quote [Withnail is speeding down the motorway. Marwood in the back-seat wakes up.]
Marwood: What's going on?
Withnail: I'm making time.
Marwood: Are you out of your mind? You haven't got a license.
Withnail: No, I'm making time.

View Quote Withnail: Hold on. Don't let your imagination run away with you.
Marwood: Imagination? I just finished fighting off a naked man!