The Way of the Gun quotes

View Quote Not money, 15 million dollars. Fifteen million dollars is not money, its a motive with a universal adaptor on it.

View Quote Parker and Longbaugh lean against Bar Patron's car as the alarms go off
Bar Patron: Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you ****ed? Get off the ****ing car!
Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the ****ing car! Hey ****suck, get your slippery ****ing ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the ****ing car with your ****ing ass!
Parker: Shut that ****s mouth or I'll come over there and ****start her head!
Bar Patron and Raving Bitch leave the line and menacingly approach Parker and Longbaugh
Raving Bitch: You're gonna wish you never ****ing got up this ****ing morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna **** you up! And then after that while he's ****ing up your ****ing gay uncle over there I'm gonna ****ing cut off your **** and mail it to your mother, you ****ing **** bitch! You gaylord ****ing bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot you ****ing ****? You like to ass ****? Fontanella ****ing babyheads!
Bar Patron: Go ahead.
Raving Bitch: You like to **** babyheads? You like to **** boys? He's gonna **** you in the ass, how do you like that? He's not even gay but he'll do it just to **** wi…
Bar Patron: Honey honey. She's got a big mouth but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly and I'm gonna **** you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.

View Quote We don't want your forgiveness; we won't make excuses. We're not gonna blame you, even if you are an accessory, but we will not accept your natural order. We didn't come for absolution, we didn't ask to be redeemed, but isn't that the way it is? Every goddamn time. Your prayers are always answered, in the order they're received.

View Quote There is a natural order. The way things are meant to be. An order that says the good guys always win, that you die when it's your time or when you have it coming, that the ending is always happy-if only for someone else. Now at some point it became clear that our path had been chosen for us and we had nothing to offer the world. Our options narrowing down to petty crime or minimum wage, so we stepped off the path and went looking for the fortune that we knew was looking for us. Once off the path you do what you can to eat, keep moving. You don't blow your ghost of a chance with nickel and dime, no possessions, no comforts. Need is the ultimate monkey. A pint of your blood can fetch you fifty bucks, a shot of ****--three grand. You keep your life simple and you can literally self sustain.

View Quote Employee: What would you say qualifies you as a donor?
Parker: Well, I'd say I'm a fairly intelligent, good-looking man, physically fit, stable…
Employee: Ok... heterosexual?
Parker: [pause] Can I ask you something?
Employee: Sure.
Parker: Are you a ****?
[The employee, taken aback, doesn't respond.]
Parker: See, you asked me if I was heterosexual. I asked you the same question, only I was clear about the answer I was looking for.
Employee: I just asked if you were heterosexual.

View Quote Longbaugh: Well, I've never killed a man…
Employee: I beg your pardon?
Longbaugh: I said I've never killed a man.
Employee: I didn't ask if you had.
Longbaugh: You asked me why I think I was qualified, and I think that's qualification.
Employee: And I'm just wondering why that in particular strikes you as an important qualification for semen donation.
Longbaugh: I would say that's a big ****ing qualifica--excuse me, a very important qualification.
Employee: No one's ever said that before…
Longbaugh: Have you ever asked?
Employee: No.
Longbaugh: You should.

View Quote A heart is the only thing that has value. If you have one, get rid of it.

View Quote I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

View Quote [While kidnapping a pregnet woman named Robin in the hospital]:Parker: Allright guys I want this to go down nice and quiet. So put the guns down.
[The bodyguards do not respond]:Parker: Come on guys this is no good.
Longbaugh: Hey man. The people, the people.
Parker: Can't you people see we have guns here?
[The people do not move]:Parker: Get the **** out! Get out!
[After everyone leaves]:Parker: Alright guys, come on we've got you dead to it. Now I am gonna count to three.
[The guards **** their guns]:Longbaugh: Ah ****.
Parker: What the **** are you doing. You're supposed to be protecting her.
[The guards lower their guns down to Robin's stomach.]:Longbuagh: Ah ****. Man, what'd I tell you.
Robin: Walk away. Walk away. They don't care about dying, just losing. You're not gonna make it out of here alive. Someone could've called the cops by now, you know they're gonna come! Just walk away.

View Quote Karma is justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.

View Quote Parker: ****. Just say it.
Employee: No.
Parker: Just say it.
Employee: I'm not going to say that.
Parker: Don't you think it's funny that if I grab a woman's ass and she punches me, she's fighting for her rights, but if a **** grabs my ass and I punch his lights out, I'm a homophobe?
Employee: Let's just move on.
Parker: Are…you…a ****?
Employee: Any trace of mental illness in the family?
Parker: It's not what you say anymore, is it? It's all in how you say it.

View Quote I promise you a day of reckoning you won't live long enough to forget.

View Quote I'm the guy who you might see one day when you wake up with a pillow over your head, and the only thing you hear is a little bang.

View Quote Longbaugh: Why is that a big deal?
Employee: Because nobody brings up sex with dead people!

Longbaugh: Course they don't, it's sick.
Employee: You brought it up.
Longbaugh: To say I never did it.
Employee: I didn't ask that.
Longbaugh: You should.

View Quote You take Los Angeles, okay? If I say that Los Angeles has become, over the years, a Mecca for homosexual migration, I am in the right. But look what I am saying; I am making it sound like ****s are nomadic if not predatory miscreants who have some implied need to move around. I am also likening them to Muslims, or Muslims to them. Whereas saying L.A. is filled with ****s is just being honest.