[Gary Johnston is pelted with rotten tomatoes]
Alec Baldwin: [To Gary] You cant out-act me, boy: don't even try it! [to audience] For the truth is: Team America fights for the billion-dollar corporations. They are just as bad as the enemies... they... [dramatic pause] fight. [applause]
Gary Johnston: Oh, no, we are'nt! We're dicks! [surprise from audience] We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild... are pussies. And Kim Jong Il... is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get ****ed by dicks. But dicks - also - **** - assholes... assholes who just wanna shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can **** an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is, sometimes they **** too much or **** when it isn't appropriate...
Spottswoode: Yes, Gary, yes!
Gary Johnston: ...and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes, pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and half away from assholes. [music of awe] I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know: If you don't let us **** - this - asshole, we're going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit!
Copy quote link to Clipboard
  »   More Quotes from
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the