ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[Gary walks through a ruined Team Base]
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.: [slightly distorted] Greetings Mr. Johnston.
Gary Johnston: What the hell happened?
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.: Our base was attacked by a giant socialist weasel.

Spottswoode: There's nobody left to stop Kim Jong Il.
Gary Johnston: Let me go.
Spottswoode: You? You're a butt****ing quitter! You walked out, Gary. The team went on a mission without you, and without an actor they were like pigs to the slaughter! I'm supposed to leave the fate of the world in your hands?
Gary Johnston: I know I walked out, but I do anything to take it back. Please, just let me help!

Gary Johnston: Please how can I make you trust me?
Spottswoode: I remember the first day we met. You were a simple broadway actor, afraid to get in my limo, because you thought I wanted you to perform oral sex on me. Do you remember that?
Gary Johnston: Yeah...
Spottswoode: And now the tables are turned, and I don't know if I can trust you.
Gary Johnston: Just... give me a chance.
Spottswoode: All right. I'll trust you! But only if you... will perform oral sex on me.
Gary Johnston: (Blankly)......What?
Spottswoode: Right here, right now!
Gary Johnston: You can't be serious.
Spottswoode: I am serious. Look! [points at face] This is my serious face.
Gary Johnston: What will that prove?
Spottswoode: [enraged] It will prove that you are truly ready to lay everything on the line. To throw away all your inhibitions, and give one hundred percent! We must go back to that first night we met, that first issue of trust. Don't you see?
Gary Johnston: No, I thought you weren't gay!
Spottswoode: This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust! It's the eye of the needle, Gary, and we must both pass through it. [long pause] Ok. Let's do it. [drops pants] I'll make sure nobody's watching. [looks around] Ok....... Go!!!
[elaborate off-screen blowjob with majestic music]
Spottswoode: You are dedicated! Now let's go get cleaned up. If you're going to storm Kim Jong Ils palace singlehanded, we have to make you a complete soldier in very little time!
Gary Johnston: How're we gonna do that?
Spottswoode: [Montage song fades in]I think I know just what we need.
Unused Dialogue:


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