Sweet Home Alabama quotes

41 total quotes

Mayor Kate Hennings
Melanie Carmichael
Multiple Characters

View Quote Jake: [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses] Can I help you?
Melanie: Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Jake: Are you shittin' me?
Melanie: I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not shitting you.

View Quote Jake: Well, how about you say 'Hey there Jake, lookin' good. How's the family?'
Melanie: You expect me to say that you look good? What'd, they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

View Quote You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

View Quote The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.

View Quote Lurlynn: It's funny how things don't turn out...
Melanie: ...It's funny how they do

View Quote Jake: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie: Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as "our money."
[Jake stops cold]
Melanie: Just a guess: The words joint checking are flashing in your head right now.

View Quote Jake: What the hell is this? Chick food?
Melanie: Light beer. Less calories.

View Quote The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

View Quote Melanie: And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.

View Quote Melanie: [on her cell phone] I can't. I'm in Alabama.
Tabatha Wadmore-Smith: [in New York] Oh... my God.

View Quote You can have roots and wings.

View Quote Jake: Anybody think of anything in here that, uh, might bother Bobby Ray?
Wade: Uh, Clinton's breath.
Jake: You still the same Bobby Ray from last night?
Bobby Ray: Last time I checked, yeah.
Jake: [puts arm on shoulder] Well, then, let me buy you a drink.
Bobby Ray: Well, you're really not my type... [laughter]

View Quote Andrew: You married your cousin?

View Quote Melanie: Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?
Jake: The kind that don't live here.

View Quote Melanie: Bobby Ray it's not like that.
Bobby Ray: No I'll tell you what it's not like. It's not like Jake's the only one you run out on.