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Sweet Home Alabama

Sweet Home Alabama quotes

41 total quotes

Bobby Ray
Earl Smooter
Jake Perry
Mayor Kate Hennings
Melanie Carmichael
Multiple Characters




View Quote Jake: [not recognizing Melanie in her sunglasses] Can I help you?
Melanie: Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce.
Jake: Are you shittin' me?
Melanie: I never fully understood that expression, but no, I am not shitting you.
View Quote Jake: Well, how about you say 'Hey there Jake, lookin' good. How's the family?'
Melanie: You expect me to say that you look good? What'd, they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?
View Quote You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.
View Quote Lurlynn: It's funny how things don't turn out...
Melanie: ...It's funny how they do
View Quote Jake: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie: Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as "our money."
[Jake stops cold]
Melanie: Just a guess: The words joint checking are flashing in your head right now.
View Quote The only reason I ain't signing is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothing better right now than to piss you off.
View Quote Jake: What the hell is this? Chick food?
Melanie: Light beer. Less calories.
View Quote You can have roots and wings.
View Quote The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.
View Quote Lurlynn: You know he went up there?
Melanie: Who? Jake?
Lurlynn: I'm not supposed to know but Clinton let it slip once.
Melanie: When?
Lurlynn: About a year after you left. He told Clinton he'd never seen anything like it. He knew that it would take more than an apology to get you back. He'd have to conquer the world first. He's been trying ever since.
Melanie: That's why he kept sending the papers back.
View Quote Melanie: [on her cell phone] I can't. I'm in Alabama.
Tabatha Wadmore-Smith: [in New York] Oh... my God.
View Quote Melanie: And don't even pretend like you missed me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.
View Quote Melanie: Now what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?
Jake: The kind that don't live here.
View Quote Melanie: Bobby Ray it's not like that.
Bobby Ray: No I'll tell you what it's not like. It's not like Jake's the only one you run out on.
View Quote Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something?