Splash quotes

25 total quotes (ID: 915)

Allen Bauer
Main cast
Walter Kornbluth

[Allen is being mobbed by reporters]
Freddie Bauer: Allen, you all right?
Allen Bauer: Yeah, get me outta here!
Freddie Bauer: Is anyone here from Penthouse Magazine?
Reporters: No.
Freddie Bauer: Then we ain't talkin'.

[Allen sees his employees staring at him.]
Freddie Bauer: What are you looking at? You never saw a guy who slept with a fish before? Get back to work!
[Allen and Freddie are about to enter the office]
Mrs. Stimler: [to Allen] Oh Mr. Bauer, you had a million messages. I wrote them down here. You got calls from CBS, NBC, ABC, AP, UPI, Time, Ted Turner, Newsweek, Marineland, Ripley's Believe it or Not, and Mrs. Paul.
Freddie Bauer: Not now, Mrs. Stimler. All right.

I am not a fish! How many times do I have to tell you people that? Now, will just let me outta here? Please? Huh? People? Said while standing naked in a tank with wires trailing from his body.

[repeated line] What a week I'm having.

Actor Role Tom Hanks Allen Bauer Daryl Hannah Madison Eugene Levy Dr. Walter Kornbluth John Candy Freddie Bauer Dody Goodman Mrs. Stimler Richard B. Shull Dr. Ross Shecky Greene Mr. Buyrite Bobby Di Cicco Jerry Howard Morris Dr. Zidell

I suppose you're just some harmless beachcomber who happens to wear a tuxedo!

I was right. Behold the mermaid!

I'm a really nice guy. If I had friends you could ask them.

It just so happens I come from a very long line of married people.

She's really hungry. Explaining why his date (a mermaid in human form) was eating an entire lobster - including the shell.