So I Married an Axe Murderer

So I Married an Axe Murderer quotes

38 total quotes (ID: 545)

Charlie Mackenzie
Stuart Mackenzie


Look at the size of that boy's head. It's like an orange on a toothpick.


May, shut it!

No kidding. His head's like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts.

Oooh, that was offsides, wasn't it? Tonight he'll cry himself to sleep... on his huge pilla!

We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down. 'S all right, he's just pissed.

Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to belief, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they make me horny, on Saturday morny... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Hey Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.

You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called FA-QUE! (pronounces it "**** you") It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground.

[after being asked by Harriet what he looks for in a woman] Most people say a sense of humor, but I'm gonna have to go with breast size.