Alan Abernathy quotes

[Talking into the phone to the Heartland Toy Company] Your damn Commando Elite wrecked my dad's store, destroyed the stupid Gorgonites, and ran off! Lawsuit! Got that? [Pauses for a bit] Alan Abernathy. 330-555-0129.

[to Archer] Hide and lose? That's a great option.

[to Archer about wind] Just because you can't see something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

[yelling at Major Chip Hazard] And I got a shot for you! You stupid toy!

If Major Chip wants a war, we'll give him war.

I don't think we killed him enough.

He went to a seminar, "How to make a success of your small business", my suggestion is to torch the place.

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