Irwin Wayfair: You put munitions chips into toys?

Larry Benson: Hello, Mr. Chips.

Mr. Mars: Exactly, don't call it violent; call it action. Kids love action. It sells.

Timmy Fimple: Dad, you know my birthday? I just want clothes.

Alan: Thanks, Joe. I owe you one.
Joe: You owe me twelve!

Alan: There's a problem with the Commandos.
Larry: Really? What kind of problem?
Stuart: [punches Larry in the face] Your toys nearly killed my son!

Archer: Alan, friend of Archer, defender of all Gorgonites, Keeper of Encarta...
Alan: "Keeper of Encarta"? You were using my computer? If I find a virus in there you're headed for the microwave.

Archer: Alan. If Gorgon's not in that window, is it in this one?
Alan: There's nothing outside the window. There's just stuff outside them.
Archer: What stuff?
Alan: You know. Houses. Electric poles. Christy's house.
Slamfist: And beyond that?
Alan: The mall.
Archer: And what's beyond that?
Alan: That's the highway.
Punch-It: And beyond that?
Alan: A million acres of farm.
Archer: And what's beyond that?
Alan: I don't know.
Archer: Hmmm. Gorgon.

Archer: Gorgonites. We must help Alan.
Slamfist: But if we fight, we will lose.
Troglokhan: Last time we fought, I woke up at am/fm.
Punch-It: We shouldn't fight, we should hide.
Archer: If we hide, we would still lose. No more hiding.

Archer: Greetings. I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
Alan: Awfully polite for a monster.

Archer: What is your name?
Alan: I'm Alan. Now shut up. I gotta do my homework.
Archer: Greetings, Alan-now-shut-up.

Christy: Any sigh of the Gorgonites?
Alan: No, not a thing.
Phil: Come on Christy!
Christy: [kisses Alan on cheek] I'll see ya.
[Alan grabs her dramatically and kisses her]
Gil Mars: [getting into helicopter, looking at wreckage] Too bad. This would have been a hell of a commercial.

Christy: I heard your parents had to move here because you got kicked out of ten different schools?
Alan: I did not! [paused for a while] It was only two.

Christy: You rescued me! [kissing Alan]
Alan: [pausing for a bit] Anytime.

Major Chip Hazard: Beware. There are 16 Gorgonites.
Christy: 16? Where did they 16 from?
Larry: 7 Gorgonites and 9 people.