Simon Birch

Simon Birch quotes

36 total quotes (ID: 539)

Adult Joe Wenteworth (Narrator)


[Visiting Simon's grave.] I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice, not because of his voice or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mother's death but because he is the reason I believe in God. What faith I have, I owe it to Simon Birch, a boy I grew up with in Gravestown, Maine.


Simon's father owned the Birch Granite Company. Mr. Birch was a big believer in the rock and just about everything in their house was made from granite, including Mr. Birch.

When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time, like how the mail stops coming. What I remember most to this day was my mother's scent and how I hated it when it began to disappear. First from her closets and drawers, then from her dresses that she had sewed herself and finally, from her bedsheets and pillowcases.

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with. It responds like a snail to our impatience...then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch your breath.

Winter left its icy chill behind and soon it was spring, then summer again. Grandmother passed away that June following a stroke. And because Hilde was always so content to just follow her lead...she had a stroke of her own and died in July. We buried them side by side. It's the way they would've wanted it. Ben Goodrich legally adopted me just two days before my thirteenth birthday. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for bringing him into my life. With Simon's help, I'd finally found my real father.

Joe Wenteworth: Come on. We're late.
Simon Birch: No, you're late. I'm just riding with you.

Simon Birch: Not so fast. Slow down. I'm a miracle, you know.
Joe Wenteworth: Yeah, yeah.

Simon Birch: I was just thinking.
Joe Wenteworth: Yeah?
Simon Birch: Last year we played in the Squirt League, right?
Joe Wenteworth: Uh-huh.
Simon Birch: And this year we're in the Peewees.
Joe Wenteworth: So?
Simon Birch: Do they want us to play baseball or urinate? [silence] Anyway, I was just thinking.

Rebecca Wenteworth: Do your thing, Simon! Show 'em how it's done!

[Swimming at the quarry.]
Joe Wenteworth: Oh! Oh, man. That's cold.
Simon Birch: It's freezing!
Joe Wenteworth: My balls just turned into marbles.
Simon Birch: My balls just turned into bb's!


[Joe and Simon are sitting on deck at the quarry.]
Simon Birch: Marjorie's getting breasts.
Joe Wenteworth: Yeah.
Simon Birch: And soon they'll be boobs.
Joe Wenteworth: I know.
Simon Birch: Maybe she'll let us touch 'em some time if we paid her.
Joe Wenteworth: Why don't you ask her? [calling out to Marjorie] Oh, uh, Marjorie.
Simon Birch: [embarrassed] Stop it! Stop it!
Joe Wenteworth: Uh, Simon has a question for you.
Marjorie: What is it, Simon?
Simon Birch: Nothing. Goodbye.
Joe Wenteworth: He wants to know, uh maybe if he paid you, could he touch your br-- [Simon stops Joe by grabbing his mouth to avoid further embarrassment]

[Making their way home from the quarry.]
Simon Birch: Your problem is that you have no faith.
Joe Wenteworth: I got faith. I just need proof to back it up.

[Upon hearing the doorbell, Joe and Simon rush to the window.]
Grandmother Wenteworth: Simon Birch, get away from there. You'll scare him off.

[At the church, Simon expresses himself in front of everyone.]
Simon Birch: I said, "What does coffee and doughnuts have to do with God?"
Rev. Russell: They're merely refreshments so people can socialize and, uh, and discuss the upcoming activities.
Simon Birch: Who ever said the church needs a continental breakfast?
Rev. Russell: -Simon!
Simon Birch: I doubt that God is interested in our church activities.
Rev. Russell: -Simon!
Simon Birch: -If God has made the church bake sale a priority, then I'd say we're all in a lot of trouble.

Rev. Russell: Simon, what do you think you're doing sitting in a corner?
Simon Birch: Thinking about God.
Rev. Russell: In a corner?
Simon Birch: Faith is not in a floor plan.