She's the Man (2006) · 46 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in She's the Man (2006): in 5 of its 46 quotes
Most scenes with: Viola (3), Principal Gold (2)
: Let me introduce myself.
[in the shower room to Viola as Sebastian] : "I'm Malcolm Festes. Dorm director. Shower shoes are to be worn at all times in the shower room except when in the actual shower. Did you not read your dorm life phamphlet? It was in your cubby."
What's this? Poems?
Lyrics. They're his... my, my old stuff.
Those are really good. So honest.
I know. I keep telling him... me... myself... my... myself.
I write songs too, Olivia.
Really? Wonderful.
Check it out. [sings] I see you through your window, while I'm standing on a tree outside.
Malcolm Festes, Dorm Director. Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when in the actual shower! ...Did you not read your "Dorm Life" pamphlet? It was in your cubby.
Sup dog?
Later.
Hey, you forgot, ew... [holding up Viola's chest bandage] This, coolio.
Word, G-man.
I am convinced he's hiding something.
Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-American, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller. And to make it harder for them to run away.
Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
No, sir, I...
Not that easy. Not that easy...
MALCOLM! CAN YOU SHED SOME LIGHT ON THE CURRENT SITUATION?
No more than has already been shed, sir.
