Semi-Pro

Semi-Pro quotes

25 total quotes (ID: 526)

Jackie Moon
Multiple Characters


Everybody panic! Oh my God, there's a bear loose in the coliseum! There will be no refunds! Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life! If you have a small child, use it as a shield! They love the tender meat! Cover your sodas! Dewie loves sugar!


It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes!

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!

SUCK MY ****, I'LL MURDER YOUR FAMILY!

SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!

Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette, it's very unprofessional.
Lou Redwood: No, I like to smoke when I drink.

Dick Pepperfield: Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine as they carry him off the court.

Let's get Tropical!

In the anals of history, people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.

GOD DAMN IT, VAKIDIS, LEARN ****IN' ENGLISH!

I'm so excited, I can't even...feel my arms!

(to Monix) I wish you were still a washing machine!

Heaven wants us to win this game! I'LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

EVERYBODY PANIC! IT'S JUST LIKE THE TITANIC, BUT IT'S FULL OF BEARS!

If you see a possum, try to kill it. It's not a pet.