School of Rock quotes
35 total quotes
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Freddy: Um, are we going to be goofing off like this every day?
Dewey: Uh, we're not goofing off, we're creating musical fusion.
Freddy: Well, are we going to be creating musical fusion every day?
Dewey: Yeah, get used to it.
[Freddy smiles]
Dewey: Uh, we're not goofing off, we're creating musical fusion.
Freddy: Well, are we going to be creating musical fusion every day?
Dewey: Yeah, get used to it.
[Freddy smiles]
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Dewey: If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at The Man, and right now I'm The Man. That's right, I'm The Man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off?
Freddy: Shut up, Schneebly!
Dewey: That's it, Freddy. That's it! Who can top him?
Alicia: Get outta here, stupid.
Dewey: Yes, Alicia.
Summer: You're a joke. You're the worst teacher I've ever had.
Dewey: Summer, that is great. I like the delivery because I felt your anger.
Summer: Thank you.
Lawrence: You're a fat loser, and you have body odor.
Dewey: All right. All right! Now is everyone nice and ticked off?
Class: Yeah!
Dewey: Good! Time to write a rock song! Now what makes you mad more than anything in the world? Billy?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: Okay, you see me after class.
Freddy: Shut up, Schneebly!
Dewey: That's it, Freddy. That's it! Who can top him?
Alicia: Get outta here, stupid.
Dewey: Yes, Alicia.
Summer: You're a joke. You're the worst teacher I've ever had.
Dewey: Summer, that is great. I like the delivery because I felt your anger.
Summer: Thank you.
Lawrence: You're a fat loser, and you have body odor.
Dewey: All right. All right! Now is everyone nice and ticked off?
Class: Yeah!
Dewey: Good! Time to write a rock song! Now what makes you mad more than anything in the world? Billy?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: Okay, you see me after class.
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Freddy: I'm just saying, name two great chick drummers.
Katie: Sheila E? Meg White from The White Stripes?
Freddy: She can't drum!
Katie: She's a better drummer than you. At least she has rhythm.
Mullins: Freddy, where are your sleeves? And what have you done to your hair?
Freddy: It's called punk.
Mullins: Well, it's not school uniform. [pulls Freddy's sleeves back down]
Frankie: Miss Mullins, you're The Man.
Mullins: Thank you, Frankie.
[Frankie and some of the other students giggle behind her back.]
Katie: Sheila E? Meg White from The White Stripes?
Freddy: She can't drum!
Katie: She's a better drummer than you. At least she has rhythm.
Mullins: Freddy, where are your sleeves? And what have you done to your hair?
Freddy: It's called punk.
Mullins: Well, it's not school uniform. [pulls Freddy's sleeves back down]
Frankie: Miss Mullins, you're The Man.
Mullins: Thank you, Frankie.
[Frankie and some of the other students giggle behind her back.]
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Tomika: Mr. S, I don't think I can sing.
Dewey: What're you talkin' about? C'mere.
Dewey: Listen, Tomika, what's going on? What do you mean, you can't sing?
Tomika: I don't feel good. I feel sick. Just let Alicia and Marta do it.
Dewey: No! They can't sing like you can, I need you in the chorus! What is it, are you nervous?
[Tomika nods]
Dewey: Yeah? Why? What are you afraid of?
Tomika: They're gonna laugh at me.
Dewey: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno. 'Cause I'm fat?
Dewey: Tomika... Hey, you've got something everybody wants: You've got talent, girl! You have an incredible singing voice, and I'm not just saying that. You've heard of Aretha Franklin, right? Okay, she's a big lady. But when she starts singing, she blows people's minds! Everybody wants to party with Aretha! And, uh, you know who else has a weight issue?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey: Me. But once I get up on stage and start rockin', people worship me! Because I'm sexy! And chubby, man.
Tomika: Why aren't you on a diet?
Dewey: Because I like to eat. Is that such a crime? Look, you know what? That's not even the point. The thing is, you're a rock star now. All you gotta do is just go out there and rock your heart out. People are gonna dig you, I swear. Let's go out there and show 'em what we got, what do you say?
Dewey: What're you talkin' about? C'mere.
Dewey: Listen, Tomika, what's going on? What do you mean, you can't sing?
Tomika: I don't feel good. I feel sick. Just let Alicia and Marta do it.
Dewey: No! They can't sing like you can, I need you in the chorus! What is it, are you nervous?
[Tomika nods]
Dewey: Yeah? Why? What are you afraid of?
Tomika: They're gonna laugh at me.
Dewey: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno. 'Cause I'm fat?
Dewey: Tomika... Hey, you've got something everybody wants: You've got talent, girl! You have an incredible singing voice, and I'm not just saying that. You've heard of Aretha Franklin, right? Okay, she's a big lady. But when she starts singing, she blows people's minds! Everybody wants to party with Aretha! And, uh, you know who else has a weight issue?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey: Me. But once I get up on stage and start rockin', people worship me! Because I'm sexy! And chubby, man.
Tomika: Why aren't you on a diet?
Dewey: Because I like to eat. Is that such a crime? Look, you know what? That's not even the point. The thing is, you're a rock star now. All you gotta do is just go out there and rock your heart out. People are gonna dig you, I swear. Let's go out there and show 'em what we got, what do you say?
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Dewey: OK, we are good to go.
Summer: No, we're not. Freddy took off.
Dewey: What? Where?
Summer: Some guys invited him out to their van.
Dewey: WHAT?! Come on, you guys!
Summer: No, we're not. Freddy took off.
Dewey: What? Where?
Summer: Some guys invited him out to their van.
Dewey: WHAT?! Come on, you guys!
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Dewey: I totally screwed up. I told the kids that if they practiced, they'd get into the Battle of the Bands.
Coordinator: What'd you tell them that for?
Dewey: I don't know, I just...I wanted to give them something to look forward to, to keep their spirits up. Look at them. [he and the Coordinator look at the kids, who are faking sick] They're terminal. Every last one of them. And all they wanted to do before they bit the dust was play Battle of the Bands.
Coordinator: What do they all have?
Dewey: It’s a... rare blood disease. "Stick-it-to-da-man-neosis."
Coordinator: What's that? I've never heard of it.
Dewey: You're lucky. Because it's hell.
Coordinator: What'd you tell them that for?
Dewey: I don't know, I just...I wanted to give them something to look forward to, to keep their spirits up. Look at them. [he and the Coordinator look at the kids, who are faking sick] They're terminal. Every last one of them. And all they wanted to do before they bit the dust was play Battle of the Bands.
Coordinator: What do they all have?
Dewey: It’s a... rare blood disease. "Stick-it-to-da-man-neosis."
Coordinator: What's that? I've never heard of it.
Dewey: You're lucky. Because it's hell.
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[Summer's plan to lie to the judges about a fatal disease has gotten the kids into the Battle of the Bands]
Dewey: Summer, you get an A+ and fifty gold stars!
Summer: [smiles] I didn't do it for the grade.
Dewey: Summer, you get an A+ and fifty gold stars!
Summer: [smiles] I didn't do it for the grade.
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Dewey: [singing] Math is a wonderful thing. Math is a really cool thing. So get off your 'ath, let's do some math. Math, math, math, math, math. Three minus four is...
Summer: Negative one.
Dewey: [singing] That's riiiiight. And six times a billion is...
Marco: Six billion?
Dewey: [singing] Nailed it! And 54 is 45 more than...What is the answer Marta?
Marta: Nine.
Dewey: [singing] No it's eight.
Marta: [singing] No, it's nine.
Dewey: [singing] Yes, I was just testing you, it's nine. And that's a magic number.
Summer: Negative one.
Dewey: [singing] That's riiiiight. And six times a billion is...
Marco: Six billion?
Dewey: [singing] Nailed it! And 54 is 45 more than...What is the answer Marta?
Marta: Nine.
Dewey: [singing] No it's eight.
Marta: [singing] No, it's nine.
Dewey: [singing] Yes, I was just testing you, it's nine. And that's a magic number.
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Mullins: In your experience, how does Horace Green compare to the other schools that you’ve taught at?
Dewey: Oh, your school is the best.
Mullins: You're just saying that.
Dewey: I'm not. Do you know that kids at other schools just have fun all the time? They're running around. There's no discipline. They're happy. It's anarchy. This is the best school I have ever teached at. I swear.
Dewey: Oh, your school is the best.
Mullins: You're just saying that.
Dewey: I'm not. Do you know that kids at other schools just have fun all the time? They're running around. There's no discipline. They're happy. It's anarchy. This is the best school I have ever teached at. I swear.
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Mullins: [about the teachers] They hate me.
Dewey: No, they don't.
Mullins: Yes, they do, I can see. I wasn't always like this, you know, I wasn't always wound this tight. There was a time where I was fun. I was funny! I was. But you can't be funny and be the principal of a prep school! No, you cannot. Because when it comes to their kids, these parents have no sense of humor. No. And if something goes wrong its my head in the smasher. And these parents will come down on me like a nuclear bomb! I can't make a mistake! I gotta be perfect! And that pressure has turned me into something that I never wanted to be...! [mouths "a bitch"]
Dewey: No, you're not.
Mullins: Yes, I am. I am a big one!
Dewey: No, they don't.
Mullins: Yes, they do, I can see. I wasn't always like this, you know, I wasn't always wound this tight. There was a time where I was fun. I was funny! I was. But you can't be funny and be the principal of a prep school! No, you cannot. Because when it comes to their kids, these parents have no sense of humor. No. And if something goes wrong its my head in the smasher. And these parents will come down on me like a nuclear bomb! I can't make a mistake! I gotta be perfect! And that pressure has turned me into something that I never wanted to be...! [mouths "a bitch"]
Dewey: No, you're not.
Mullins: Yes, I am. I am a big one!
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[Billy has just showed off his completed stage outfits for Katie and Freddy]
Dewey: I dunno... They might be a little distracting...
Billy: It's glitter-rock, and it's glam, and it's fabulous!
Dewey: Billy, it's just not the right style.
Billy: Style? You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself! Look at that bow tie!
Dewey: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie!
Billy: You know what? I give up, they can just wear their uniforms.
Dewey: That's not a bad idea...
Dewey: I dunno... They might be a little distracting...
Billy: It's glitter-rock, and it's glam, and it's fabulous!
Dewey: Billy, it's just not the right style.
Billy: Style? You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself! Look at that bow tie!
Dewey: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie!
Billy: You know what? I give up, they can just wear their uniforms.
Dewey: That's not a bad idea...
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Ned: [as he opens his mail] What are you all dressed up for?
Dewey: Uh, I got a hot date.
Ned: That's weird. I got a check from Horace Green Prep for $1,200. I've never even worked there. [picks up the phone and starts dialing Horace Green]
Dewey: What are you doing?
Ned: Calling the school. [speaks into phone] Hi, this is Ned Schneebly. Um... [Dewey breaks the call; Ned eyes him suspiciously] Dewey? What's going on?
Dewey: I told them 15 times, make it out to cash!
Ned: [hangs up the phone] Dewey?
Dewey: I did something bad, Ned.
Ned: No...
Dewey: Yeah. They called, looking for a sub, and I said I was you, just to make some money. But then I got there, and the kids--they rock, man! There's this kid, Larry, who's like, "I'm not cool," but now he's like... [scatting] And there's this other girl who can sing like... [humming] But then she thought she was too fat to sing, so they were all dying of this rare blood disease, and then the principal got drunk. And now, we're playing tomorrow at Battle of the Bands! Isn't that great? It's the coolest thing that ever happened! One day, that's all I ask, Ned. And then I will come clean. I'll tell everyone it was my fault, you had nothing to do with it, you'll be fine, one day!
Patty: [walks in] Ned, home.
Dewey: [lowers his voice] Don't say anything to her. Please? She'll blow it. She'll blow everything. Please?
Patty: [walks into the room; looks at Dewey and Ned suspiciously] Hey. What's going on?
Dewey: [casually] Nothing. I got a hot date, that's what's going on. [mouths and makes gestures at Ned to keep quiet] See you later. [leaves]
Patty: What's going on, Ned?
Ned: [grins sheepishly] Nothing.
Patty: Nothing? Well...
Dewey: Uh, I got a hot date.
Ned: That's weird. I got a check from Horace Green Prep for $1,200. I've never even worked there. [picks up the phone and starts dialing Horace Green]
Dewey: What are you doing?
Ned: Calling the school. [speaks into phone] Hi, this is Ned Schneebly. Um... [Dewey breaks the call; Ned eyes him suspiciously] Dewey? What's going on?
Dewey: I told them 15 times, make it out to cash!
Ned: [hangs up the phone] Dewey?
Dewey: I did something bad, Ned.
Ned: No...
Dewey: Yeah. They called, looking for a sub, and I said I was you, just to make some money. But then I got there, and the kids--they rock, man! There's this kid, Larry, who's like, "I'm not cool," but now he's like... [scatting] And there's this other girl who can sing like... [humming] But then she thought she was too fat to sing, so they were all dying of this rare blood disease, and then the principal got drunk. And now, we're playing tomorrow at Battle of the Bands! Isn't that great? It's the coolest thing that ever happened! One day, that's all I ask, Ned. And then I will come clean. I'll tell everyone it was my fault, you had nothing to do with it, you'll be fine, one day!
Patty: [walks in] Ned, home.
Dewey: [lowers his voice] Don't say anything to her. Please? She'll blow it. She'll blow everything. Please?
Patty: [walks into the room; looks at Dewey and Ned suspiciously] Hey. What's going on?
Dewey: [casually] Nothing. I got a hot date, that's what's going on. [mouths and makes gestures at Ned to keep quiet] See you later. [leaves]
Patty: What's going on, Ned?
Ned: [grins sheepishly] Nothing.
Patty: Nothing? Well...
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[Dewey and Mullins arrive at Horace Green for Parents' Night]
Dewey: Okay, I don't think I can go in there.
Mullins: What's wrong?
Dewey: Roz... I'm not a teacher.
Mullins: Oh, Ned, a substitute is a teacher.
Dewey: No, no, I'm not a teacher. I'm a fraud.
Mullins: No! You're not! You're a dedicated, talented teacher, and those parents are gonna love you! Now, just get in there, and tell those parents what you've been teaching their kids.
Dewey: Okay, I don't think I can go in there.
Mullins: What's wrong?
Dewey: Roz... I'm not a teacher.
Mullins: Oh, Ned, a substitute is a teacher.
Dewey: No, no, I'm not a teacher. I'm a fraud.
Mullins: No! You're not! You're a dedicated, talented teacher, and those parents are gonna love you! Now, just get in there, and tell those parents what you've been teaching their kids.
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[Dewey starts lying to the parents about what he's been teaching their kids]
Dewey: Yeah, you know, uh, math, English... Uh... What else? Science... What else? Geography, history, Latin, Spanish, French, Latin, uh, math... Did I say that already? Anyway, you know, just all the stuff you want your kids to know, it's been covered, okay? So... it was great to meet you all, and, uh, [clicks tounge] drive safe.
Zack's Father: Excuse me. Ever since you started teaching here, all my son can talk about is music. He says when he grows up, he wants to be a musician. Is this your influence?
Summer's Mother: Yeah, what...? Mr. Schneebly, why has my daughter become obsessed with David Geffen?
Lawrence's Father: [holds up a copy of Yes's "Fragile"] And how is this homework?
Dewey: Okay, see, I would like to tell you about what we've been doing in here, but there's such a thing as teacher-student confidentiality, and I don't want to be in breach of educational law 'cause I could be dismembered by the teacher's union. So...
Zack's Father: You expect us to believe this garbage?
[Dewey looks out in the hallway and sees a cop]
Tomika: Mr. S, don't you think you should just tell them about the project?
Tomika's Mother: What project?
Lawrence: Our class project. Every school in the state is competing.
Lawrence's Father: Competing?
Summer: It's not till next quarter, but Mr. S wanted us to get a head start.
Summer's Mother: Well, what's the project, Summer?
[Dewey sees the cop talking with Patty]
Summer: It's prestigious. A win will go on our permanent record, Mom.
Summer's Mother: Oh.
Summer: You might as well tell 'em, Mr. Schneebly.
Dewey: Okay, look, I've gotten to know your kids over the past few weeks, and they are awesome. Zack is an insane guitarist. He's the next Hendrix, and he's 10 years old. And Gordon here, he's a genius! He did a whole professional light show on his computer in three days. And, um... [Ned looks at Dewey as the cop continues talking with Patty] And-and-and-and Marta here, she's-she's-she's... She can hit an A above high C. Did you know that? 'Cause that's tough. Not many singers can do that. And-and, uh... [Mullins and another cop get in on the conversation between Patty, Ned, and the first cop] Uh... Uh... Summer... Summer is gonna be the first woman President of the United States of America, and she could run later this year even, and I would vote for her. Look, you guys, they're just all really cool kids. And if they were mine, I would be so proud. And I am proud, just to even know them. And, um...
Cop: Sir, can I see you in the hall for a moment?
Dewey: Can I just...? Let me just say a couple more things.
Zack's Father: What's going on?
Summer's Mother: What's happening, Officer?
Cop: Apparently, that man is not Ned Schneebly.
Parents: What?
Cop: This man is Ned Schneebly.
Patty: Yeah, he's not even a teacher!
Dewey: You called the cops?!
Ned: [points to Patty] She did. She got it out of me. Sorry.
Patty: You're apologizing to him?!
Ned: Sorry.
Mullins: [to Dewey] Ned... [looks at the real Ned, then Dewey] Ned, is this true? Who are you?
Dewey: My name is Dewey Finn. And no, I'm not a licensed teacher, but I have been touched by your kids. And I'm pretty sure I've touched them.
[The parents start murmuring in confusion; Dewey flees]
Dewey: Yeah, you know, uh, math, English... Uh... What else? Science... What else? Geography, history, Latin, Spanish, French, Latin, uh, math... Did I say that already? Anyway, you know, just all the stuff you want your kids to know, it's been covered, okay? So... it was great to meet you all, and, uh, [clicks tounge] drive safe.
Zack's Father: Excuse me. Ever since you started teaching here, all my son can talk about is music. He says when he grows up, he wants to be a musician. Is this your influence?
Summer's Mother: Yeah, what...? Mr. Schneebly, why has my daughter become obsessed with David Geffen?
Lawrence's Father: [holds up a copy of Yes's "Fragile"] And how is this homework?
Dewey: Okay, see, I would like to tell you about what we've been doing in here, but there's such a thing as teacher-student confidentiality, and I don't want to be in breach of educational law 'cause I could be dismembered by the teacher's union. So...
Zack's Father: You expect us to believe this garbage?
[Dewey looks out in the hallway and sees a cop]
Tomika: Mr. S, don't you think you should just tell them about the project?
Tomika's Mother: What project?
Lawrence: Our class project. Every school in the state is competing.
Lawrence's Father: Competing?
Summer: It's not till next quarter, but Mr. S wanted us to get a head start.
Summer's Mother: Well, what's the project, Summer?
[Dewey sees the cop talking with Patty]
Summer: It's prestigious. A win will go on our permanent record, Mom.
Summer's Mother: Oh.
Summer: You might as well tell 'em, Mr. Schneebly.
Dewey: Okay, look, I've gotten to know your kids over the past few weeks, and they are awesome. Zack is an insane guitarist. He's the next Hendrix, and he's 10 years old. And Gordon here, he's a genius! He did a whole professional light show on his computer in three days. And, um... [Ned looks at Dewey as the cop continues talking with Patty] And-and-and-and Marta here, she's-she's-she's... She can hit an A above high C. Did you know that? 'Cause that's tough. Not many singers can do that. And-and, uh... [Mullins and another cop get in on the conversation between Patty, Ned, and the first cop] Uh... Uh... Summer... Summer is gonna be the first woman President of the United States of America, and she could run later this year even, and I would vote for her. Look, you guys, they're just all really cool kids. And if they were mine, I would be so proud. And I am proud, just to even know them. And, um...
Cop: Sir, can I see you in the hall for a moment?
Dewey: Can I just...? Let me just say a couple more things.
Zack's Father: What's going on?
Summer's Mother: What's happening, Officer?
Cop: Apparently, that man is not Ned Schneebly.
Parents: What?
Cop: This man is Ned Schneebly.
Patty: Yeah, he's not even a teacher!
Dewey: You called the cops?!
Ned: [points to Patty] She did. She got it out of me. Sorry.
Patty: You're apologizing to him?!
Ned: Sorry.
Mullins: [to Dewey] Ned... [looks at the real Ned, then Dewey] Ned, is this true? Who are you?
Dewey: My name is Dewey Finn. And no, I'm not a licensed teacher, but I have been touched by your kids. And I'm pretty sure I've touched them.
[The parents start murmuring in confusion; Dewey flees]
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[Ned and Patty arrive home and see Dewey sulking at the table]
Patty: I have nothing to say to you.
Ned: Me neither.
Dewey: Okay, I'm goin' to bed.
Patty: You know, Dewey, it's one thing to throw your life away, but then to put Ned's career in jeopardy is so selfish!
Dewey: Hey! You're the one who told me to be like Ned and get a job.
Patty: Yeah, yeah, I told you to be like Ned, Dewey! I didn't tell you to be Ned! And you're not even gonna apologize?
Dewey: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING THE COPS! It's not like I murdered anybody! I just wanted to play a great show! I was this close!
Ned: SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Would you both just cut it out for one second?!
[Patty mutters something under her breath, then leaves]
Dewey: Look, I'm sorry, dude. I was desperate. You can't understand. It was easy for you to give up music. It ain't easy for me.
Ned: It wasn't easy for me. I miss it.
Dewey: Well, then why'd you give it up?
Ned: 'Cause I couldn't keep kidding myself anymore. You can blame it all on bad luck, but in the end, maybe we just weren't that good. Sometimes, you gotta know when to quit.
Dewey: Maybe you're right, maybe I suck.
Ned: That's not what I said.
Dewey: Well, music is my life, man. What do you want me to do?
Ned: I don't know, but... I think it's time you moved out. Sorry.
Patty: I have nothing to say to you.
Ned: Me neither.
Dewey: Okay, I'm goin' to bed.
Patty: You know, Dewey, it's one thing to throw your life away, but then to put Ned's career in jeopardy is so selfish!
Dewey: Hey! You're the one who told me to be like Ned and get a job.
Patty: Yeah, yeah, I told you to be like Ned, Dewey! I didn't tell you to be Ned! And you're not even gonna apologize?
Dewey: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING THE COPS! It's not like I murdered anybody! I just wanted to play a great show! I was this close!
Ned: SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Would you both just cut it out for one second?!
[Patty mutters something under her breath, then leaves]
Dewey: Look, I'm sorry, dude. I was desperate. You can't understand. It was easy for you to give up music. It ain't easy for me.
Ned: It wasn't easy for me. I miss it.
Dewey: Well, then why'd you give it up?
Ned: 'Cause I couldn't keep kidding myself anymore. You can blame it all on bad luck, but in the end, maybe we just weren't that good. Sometimes, you gotta know when to quit.
Dewey: Maybe you're right, maybe I suck.
Ned: That's not what I said.
Dewey: Well, music is my life, man. What do you want me to do?
Ned: I don't know, but... I think it's time you moved out. Sorry.