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School of Rock

School of Rock quotes

35 total quotes





View Quote Patty: He is a lazy freeloader, and it's time for all this dysfunction to stop.
Ned: Keep it... Can't we just do this later? I mean, you know how he gets in the morning.
Patty: Ned, aren't you tired of letting people push you around?
Ned: Yes. [sighs]
Patty: Then get in there and do it! [Ned refuses, so Patty pulls the curtain aside]
Dewey: [wakes up] What? What is it?
Ned: Dewey, hey, it's the first of the month, and, uh, I would like your share of the rent now, please.
Dewey: Oh, man! You know I don't have it! You wake me up for that? Come on, man! [falls back asleep]
Ned: Sorry. [Patty glares at him fiercely; more sternly] Dewey! I mean, you owe me a lot of money as it is.
Patty: Yeah, try $2,200!
Dewey: Okay, you guys, the band is about to hit it bigtime. We're gonna win Battle of the Bands, and when I'm rolling in the Benjamins, I will throw you and your dog a bone. Good night.
Patty: Oh, give it up! Your band has never made two cents!
Ned: Patty, come on! I'm on this!
Patty: Oh, you're on this? You're on this? He's walking all over you!
Dewey: Mommy, could we please talk about this later?
Patty: Uh, no, we can't talk about it later because Ned and I have to go to work. We have jobs. We contribute to society, all right? I am an assistant to the mayor of the city. "Hello?!"
Dewey: What?! Can you get her out of here, please? Why?! Why her?!
Patty: And Ned has the most important job there is.
Dewey: Temping?
Ned: Dewey, a substitute teacher is not a temp!
Dewey: He's a babysitter!
Ned: Oh, yeah, you think it's so easy? Well, I'd like to see you try. You wouldn't last one day.
Dewey: Dude, I service society by rocking, okay? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rockin' ain't no walk in the park, lady!
Patty: All right, this is useless, all right? You tell him that if he doesn't come up with the rent by the end of the week, he's out of here!
Ned: Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so... I don't know, I mean, maybe you should sell one of your guitars or something.
Dewey: What? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?
Patty: Oh, my God, he's an idiot! [leaves]
Dewey: Dude, I've been mooching off you for years, and it's never been a problem until she showed up. Just dump her, man!
Ned: Yeah, well, if you don't come up with some money, she's gonna dump me. She's fed up.
Dewey: Really? Because that would be a good thing! She's a nightmare!
Ned: Come on! I may never have another girlfriend! I mean, just come on! Come up with some money, please! Please!
Dewey: Okay, for you. Not for her, man, for you.
Ned: Thank you.
View Quote Dewey: Hey! What's up? Is that a new song? Who's this guy?
Theo: Dewey, we're taking the Battle of the Bands seriously this year.
Dewey: Good, because I need the money. Now, listen. If we're gonna win this thing, we gotta actually start playing some music.
Theo: I agree. You're fired.
Dewey: Your lyrics, now, don't take this the wrong way, Theo, are lame. But I've been sitting on some awesome material, so...
Theo: Dewey, did you hear what I said? We voted. You're out. This is Spider; he's replacing you.
Spider: What's up, dawg?
Neil: I was gonna tell you last night, Dewey, but you passed out, man.
Dewey: Okay, you're gonna kick me out of the band? You're gonna fire me? Well, this is my band. I brought us together.
Neil: Theo wanted you out. There's nothing I could do.
Theo: Shut up, man. You voted him out, too. I didn't tell you what to do. Dewey, listen to me. You're a good guitar player, but it's the 20-minute solos, it's the stage dives. We're trying to land a record deal here, man, and you're an embarrassment.
Dewey: Read between the lines, Theo. Read between the lines!
Neil: Dewey, man, I hope this doesn't come between us. Like, I care about you, man.
Dewey: You forgot about one thing. It's called the music. And I don't even care. You know what? So what? I don't wanna hang out with wannabe corporate sellouts. I'm gonna form my own band. We're gonna start a revolution. And you're gonna be a funny little footnote on my epic ass. I feel sorry for you guys.
View Quote [Dewey is on the phone, trying to sell one of his guitars]
Dewey: Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah, it's a 1968 Gibson SG, mint condish. [pause] No. That's all? Well, that's a mistake. No, Hendrix played this guitar. [the person on the other end hangs up] Hello?!
[Dewey hangs up. The phone rings; Dewey answers it]
Dewey: Yeah?
Mullins: Is this Mr. Schneebly?
Dewey: No, he's not here.
Mullins: Oh, could you take a message for me?
Dewey: Um... Yeah.
Mullins: Hi, my name's Rosalie Mullins. I'm the principal here at Horace Green Prep, and we're having a little emergency here; one of our teachers broke her leg on the way to school this morning, and all of our subs are already working. Pat Wickam at Milton Prep recommended I give Mr. Schneebly a call. Do you know if he's available?
Dewey: Um... How long is the gig?
Mullins: Excuse me?
Dewey: Uh, how long is the job?
Mullins: My guess is as much as a few weeks, but we do need somebody to start immediately.
Dewey: Mmm-hmm. So how much are we talkin' here?
Mullins: We pay our substitutes 650 a week. Now, do you know when Mr. Schneebly will be back?
Dewey: Hold on a sec... Oh, you know what? I think he's just comin' in right about... Ned, phone! [pretends to pass the phone, then speaks in a deep voice] Hello, this is Ned Schneebly.
View Quote Mullins: Mr. Schneebly... This is considered the best elementary school in the state and we maintain that reputation by adhering to a strict code of conduct, faculty included.
Dewey: You know what? You don't have to worry about me 'cos i'm tough. If a kid gets outta line, I got no problem, smackin' 'em in the head.
Mullins: No. No, we don't use corporal punishment here.
Dewey: Okay, so just... verbal abuse?
View Quote Dewey: [to the class on his first day] OK, Teach. Teach. Teach. Alright, look, here’s the deal. I’ve got a hangover. Who knows what that means?
Frankie: Doesn't that mean you’re drunk?
Dewey: No. It means I was drunk yesterday.
Freddy: It means you're an alcoholic.
Dewey: Wrong.
Freddy: You wouldn't come to work unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease!
Dewey: Mmm-hmm. What's your name?
Freddy: Freddy Jones.
Dewey: Mmm, Freddy Jones, shut up!
View Quote Dewey: Okay, yes, you can be in my band, but, Ned, no power plays, man. I've got vision up the butt, so just go with it.
Ned: [chuckles] No, thanks.
Dewey: [shows Ned a photo of him in his old band] You're not a teacher, Ned. You're the cross-dressing, blood-sucking incubus from Maggot Death. That's the real you!
Ned: Dewey, I'm not a sexy satanic god anymore. I'm a working stiff. And that's cool.
Dewey: She's got you brainwashed, man.
Patty: Can you see that I'm working?
Dewey: That's terrific. But who are you, babe? This is my apartment, babe.
Patty: Oh... Not if you don't pay your rent, it's not. Get a job!
Dewey: I got a job, okay? I'm gonna have your rent by the end of the week. Go tell the mayor.
Patty: You got a job. Doing what?
Dewey: I do what Ned does, I'm temping.
Ned: I'm not a temp, I'm a sub. And soon I'll be a certified teacher.
Dewey: Come on, man! One show, $20,000 prize, we split it 60-40, grab your bass, and come back to the garage, brother! I mean, don't you miss rocking out?
Patty: Dewey, if you think anyone in the right mind is gonna wanna be in a band with you, you're more delusional than I thought.
Ned: Dewey, you know, maybe it's time to give up those dreams. I did, and things are going really great for me.
View Quote [Dewey's lounging at his desk]
Michelle: Are you going to teach us anything? Or are we just going to sit here?
Dewey: [mumbles] Just do whatever you want.
Summer: I want to learn from my teacher.
Dewey: [loudly] Besides that! Freddy, what do you like to do?
Freddy: [drawing flames on the name tag on his desk] I dunno... burn stuff?
View Quote Dewey: Oh, you wanna learn something?
Summer: Yes, I do.
Dewey: You want me to teach you something? [most of the students nod] Here's a useful lesson for you: give up. Just quit. Because in this life, you can't win. Sure, you can try. [really getting angry] But in the end you're just gonna lose, BIG TIME. Because THE WORLD is run by The Man.
Frankie: Who?
Dewey: The Man. Oh, you don't know The Man? [class shakes their heads] He's everywhere. In the White House, down the hall, MISS MULLINS, she's The Man. And The Man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! Okay? And there used to be a way to stick it to The Man. It was called rock ‘n’ roll. But guess what. Oh, no. The Man ruined that too with a little thing called MTV! So don’t waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome, because The Man’s just going to call you a fat, washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!!!!
View Quote Dewey: Now, listen, normal kids would have been stoked to slack off, but not you guys, because you're not normal, you're special. And because I think you guys have the right attitude, I think it's time we started our new class project.
Lawrence: A science project?
Dewey: No. It's called... "Rock Band".
Marta: Is this a school project?
Dewey: Yes. And it's a requirement. And it may sound easy, but nothing could be harder. It will test your head [points to his head], and your mind [points to his jaw], and your brain too [points to his forehead].
Summer: Will other schools be competing?
Dewey: You could say that. You could say that every school in the state will be competing for the top prize.
Billy: What's the prize?
Dewey: A win will go on your permanent record. Hello Harvard, Yo?
View Quote [Dewey leads the class to his own version of The Pledge of Allegiance]
Dewey: I pledge allegiance...
Class: I pledge allegiance...
Dewey: ...to the band...
Class: ...to the band...
Dewey: ...of Mr. Schneebly...
Class: ...of Mr. Schneebly...
Dewey: ...and will not fight him...
Class: ...and will not fight him...
Dewey: ...for creative control...
Class: ...for creative control...
Dewey: ...and will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band. [class mumbles incoherently] LET'S GET ROCKIN'!!!! [class cheers]
View Quote Dewey: Mornin', Summer.
Summer: Groupie?
Dewey: What's the matter?
Summer: You want me to be a groupie?
Dewey: Well, groupie is an important job.
Summer: I researched groupies on the Internet. and they do stuff, weird stuff with the band!
Dewey: No, that's not true! They're like cheerleaders.
Summer: I don't want to be a cheerleader. Look, my mother's a room parent, and she's not gonna be happy when she hears about this.
Dewey: Okay, I didn't want to say this to you in front of the other kids 'cause I didn't want to make 'em jealous, but I made a special position just for you. And it's the most important job of all: band manager.
Summer: Band manager?
Dewey: Oh, yeah.
Summer: What's that?
Dewey: Well, I'm gonna be busy rocking out, so it's up to you to make sure everyone is doing their job. Summer, you're in charge of everything.
Summer: Okay.
View Quote Freddy: What are we gonna play?
Dewey: Uh, you don't have to worry about that. We have awesome material, which I wrote.
Zack: Let's hear it.
Dewey: What?
Zack: Let's hear your song.
Dewey: I'll play you my song, if you wanna hear it. Thing is, I just want you to keep in mind that...I wrote it in like, 15 minutes, and uh, it's not done yet, and you might not like it-
Freddy: Just play the song, Schneebly!
Dewey: Okay! I will sing it for you, just, uh, let me get in the zone, I wasn't planning on unveiling it, but I will sing it. Teeth of the tongue, and the lips. [performs vocal exercise] Okay, it starts off...a dark stage, and then a beam of light. and then you can see me and my guitar. [imitating his guitar] Dew-neew-dew-neew... " In the end of time, there was a man who knew the road, and the writing was written on the stone." And then a thin layer of fog comes in around my ankles. Roadies, that means dry ice, we're gonna talk about this later. "In the ancient time, an artist led the way, but no-one seemed to understand." Chimes, Freddy. "In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, and the legend of the rent was way past due!" And, Katie, you come in with the bass! [imitating the bass] Rim-bim-bim-bim-bim-beru-beru-bum-bara-bara-bara-bum-bum-bum! "Well, you think you'll be just fine without me, but you're mine! You think that you can kick me out of the band?" And then, Zack, you come in with a face-melter. [imitates the guitar] Rew-new-new-didli-new-didli-new-didli-new! Okay? "Well, there's just one problem there, the band is MINE! How can you kick me out [high pitched] of what is mine?" And then, sh- "Hawaii Five-O". You see that show? Okay. Well, there's a drum solo in it, that goes...shugadugadugaduga! "You're not hardcore, unless you live hardcore" And then, that's where I want the backup singers to be all like, "No, you're not hardcore. [high pitched] No, you're not hardcore! [reverts to normal singing voice] Unless you live hardcore. [imitating backup singers] Unless you live hardcore! [back to his own voice] But the legend of the rent, was way hardcore! BOOM! Big old explosion, some, like, confetti comes down. Anyway, that's all I got so far, it's a work in progress.
Summer: I liked it, Mr. Schneebly. I thought it was really catchy.
Dewey: Thank you.
View Quote Michelle: Mr. S? We came up with some names for the band.
Dewey: Yeah? Hit me.
Eleni: The Bumblebees?
Dewey: No, it's sissy.
Eleni: The Koala Bears?
Dewey: No! What are you talkin' about? It's too sissy!
View Quote Gabe: We were just discussing testing. Which test do you find most effective, the TAAS or the Wilson-Binet?
Dewey: I say no testing, and I will tell you why, Joe.
Gabe: Gabe.
Dewey: Gabe. I believe... that the children are the future. Now listen, you can teach them well, but buddy, you have got to let them lead the way. Let the children's laughter...just remind us of how we used to be. That's what I decided long ago.
Bob: [realizes what Dewey just said are some of the lyrics to the song "The Greatest Love of All"] Isn't that a song?
Dewey: No, uh, I don't think so. No, no it isn't.
Bob: No? Are you sure?
Dewey: Mmm-mmm.
View Quote Dewey: Look, the first thing you do when you start a rock band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Marta: Christina Aguilera.
Dewey: Who? No! Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Leonard: Puff Daddy.
Dewey: Wrong. Billy?
Billy: Liza Minnelli?
Dewey: What are you...? You guys! This project is called "Rock Band". I'm talking about bands that rock. Led Zeppelin. [the class gives him blank stares] Don't tell me you guys have never got the Led out. Jimmy Page, Robert Plant? Ring any bells? What about Sabbath? AC/DC? Motörhead?! OH, WHAT DO THEY TEACH IN THIS PLACE?!