The Royal Tenenbaums

The Royal Tenenbaums quotes

105 total quotes (ID: 511)

Chas Tenenbaum
Eli Cash
Etheline Tenenbaum
Margot Tenenbaum
Multiple Characters
Richie Tenenbaum
Royal Tenenbaum


I couldn't even begin to think about knowing how to answer that question.


Narrator He had his old escort meet him by way of the Green Line bus, the one from his days on the circuit. As always, she was late.

Royal Tenenbaum's epitaph: Royal O'Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001) Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship

Royal: I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. That's just my style. But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.
Henry Sherman: I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.
Royal: Well, I really appreciate that.

Raleigh: You have a visitor, my darling.
Margot: Margot answers without opening the door: Who is it?.
Etheline: It's me sweetie.
[Silence. A key slides from under the door to Etheline's feet. Etheline looks to Raleigh. Raleigh looks embarrassed.
INT. BATHROOM. DAY.
Margot is in the bathtub watching Planet of the Apes on her little black-and-white television set. Etheline sits on the edge of the tub with her coat in her lap.]
Etheline: Raleigh says you've been spending six hours a day locked up in here watching television and soaking in the tub.
Margot: (pause) I doubt that.
Etheline: Well, I don't think that's very healthy, do you? Nor do I think it's very intelligent to keep an electric gadget on the edge of the bathtub.
Margot: I tied it to the radiator.
[Etheline examines the television set. There is a length of red twine wrapped around it and knotted to a pipe.]
Etheline: Well, it can't be very good for your eyes.
[Margot turns off the television set with her foot. She looks to Etheline. Etheline smooths back Margot's wet hair.]
Etheline: Chas came home.
Margot: (pause) What do you mean?
Etheline: He and Ari and Uzi are gonna stay with me for a little while.
Margot: (frowns) Why are they allowed to do that?
Etheline: (hesitates) Well, I don't know exactly, but I think he's been very depressed.
Margot: (urgently) So am I.
Etheline: (pause) So are you what?

Tex Hayward: He's taken off his shoes and one of his socks and...actually, I think he's crying.

I think we're just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Richie.

I'm not talking about dance lessons. I'm talking about putting a brick through the other guy's windshield. I'm talking about taking it out and chopping it up.

'Peter Bradley: [Eli is on drugs while being interviewed on television] Now, your previous novel...
Eli: Yes, "Wildcat".
Peter Bradley: Not a success. Why?
Eli: Well... "Wildcat" was written in a kind of obselete vernacular...
[long pause]
Eli: ... wildcat... wild... cat...
[he stares into space]
Eli: ... pow... wildcat... I'm going to go.

Dudley Heinsbergen: You wanna play some word games, or do some experiments on me or anything?

Narrator Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his thirty fifth year.

Royal: [motions to Pagoda] He saved my life, you know. Thirty years ago. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta, and he carried me to the hospital on his back.
Ari: Who stabbed you?
Royal: [motions to Pagoda again] He did. There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv...

Richie Tenenbaum: Read it back to me so far, Pietro.
Radio Operator: Dear Eli, I'm in the middle of the ocean, I haven't left my room in four days, I've never been more lonely in my life and I think I'm in love with Margot.
Richie Tenenbaum: New paragraph.

Chas Tenenbaum: You know, Rachel's buried there too.
Royal Tenenbaum: Who?
Chas Tenenbaum: My wife.
Royal Tenenbaum: Oh. That's right, isn't it? Well, we'll have to swing by her grave too.

Fan Hey Baumer, can I get a picture?