Risky Business

Risky Business quotes

41 total quotes (ID: 497)

Joel Goodsen
Multiple Characters


Joel: So is this Guido guy... he's your "manager"?
Lana: That's right.
Joel: Or a pimp?
Lana: Now that's quick Joel. Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?
Miles: I don't believe this! I've got a trig midterm tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.


Barry: [about some girls walking by] Sublime breasts.
Joel: [laughing] They're what kind of breasts?
Barry: Sublime breasts!

The evening worked out well. We had a good cash flow. Rutherford made a few new friends. He said he'd do his best for me. Finally, it was time to close shop. The girls were exhausted. Lana was hungry. She wanted to go out for a bite. She wanted to make love on a real train. Who was I to say no?

Barry: Are you stoned?
Joel: No. I do not believe so.
Barry: I think you're really wasted!
Joel: This is not wasted, Barry. This is definitely not wasted...Barry? I'm a little wasted!
Barry: I know.
Joel: Don't let me do anything stupid.
Barry: Don't worry.

Guido: Hey Joel! Here's to your future as a businessman. 'Cause God knows, you're gonna need it.

Glenn: My cousin went into dermatology. First year, over 80 grand!
Barry: Just for squeezing zits?
Glenn: Why don't you try it, Barry? You have the experience.
Barry: Thank you, you're very kind.

[about Lana] It was great the way her mind worked: No guilt, no doubts, no fear. None of my specialties. Just this shameless pursuit of immediate material gratification. What a capitalist! She told me I could make more money in one night than I'd make all year. Enough to pay for my father's car. She told me she'd be my girlfriend. She told me a lot of things. I believed them all. So, she introduced me to her friends. I introduced her to my friends.

Lana: Are you ready for me... Ralph?

Miles: No guts, Goodson.
Joel: The problem was I just wasn't attracted to her.
Miles: That should never stop you.
Joel: She seemed too big.
Miles: It could've worked out.
Joel: I thought I'd get into trouble.
Miles: Sometimes you have to say, "What the ****!" Make your move!
Joel: That's easy for you to say. You're all set. You're probably going to Harvard. Me, I don't want to make a mistake, jeopardize my future!
Miles: Joel, let me tell you something. Every now and then, say "What the ****." "What the ****" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future... So your parents are going out of town. You got the place all to yourself.
Joel: Yeah.
Miles: What the ****...If you can't say it, you can't do it.

Miles: What happened?
Joel: Last night?
Miles: That's right, with Kessler.
Joel: She was babysitting down the street.
Miles: We know that.
Joel: So, I went over there. She was giving the kid a bath and accidentally hit the shower thing. All of her clothes were drying upstairs.
Miles: '[laughing] It could happen.
Joel: So she plops down on the kitchen floor and she looks up at me and says "I think I'm in the mood."
Barry: She said that? What did you say?
Joel: I didn't have to say anything.
Barry: What did you do?
Joel: What do you think I did?
Glenn: I think you got the hell out of there...ran home, and whacked off.
[Everyone laughs]
Joel: With Kessler just lying there, just wanting me??
Miles: I disagree.
Joel: Thanks.
Miles: Did you have your bike?
Joel: Yeah.
Miles: I think you got on your bike, pedaled home...and whacked off.
[Everyone laughs]

It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word.

[voiceover] The dream is always the same. Instead of going home, I go to the neighbors'. I ring, but nobody answers. The door is open, so I go inside. I'm looking around for the people, but nobody seems to be there. And then I hear the shower running, so I go upstairs to see what's what. Then I see her; this... girl, this incredible girl. I mean, what she's doing there I don't know, because she doesn't live there... but it's a dream, so I go with it. "Who's there?" she says. "Joel," I say. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know what I'm doing here; what are you doing here?" "I'm taking a shower," she says. Then I give her: "You want me to go?" "No," she says; "I want you to wash my back." So now, I'm gettin' enthusiastic about this dream. So I go to her, but she's hard to find through all the steam and stuff; I keep losing her. Finally I get to the door... and I... find myself in a room full of kids taking their college boards. I'm over three hours late; I've got two minutes to take the whole test. I've... just made a terrible mistake. I'll never get to college. My life is ruined.

You know what he said afterwards? He said the lady had knowledge. He was glad to get the knowledge. Do you know why? Because college women can smell ignorance... like dog shit.

My name is Joel Goodsen. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh, kid?

Joel: You're right. You are absolutely right to respond this way. I did not have a doctor's appointment. But I will tell you exactly what happened. "Unexcused." You see, Nurse Bolan lf you write "unexcused," I fail two mid-terms. It'll wreck my whole grade point average! If you'd just stop and listen to me, I'll explain everything. The truth is, my parents are away, and I met this girl. A call girl, actually. She came to my house. Look, you're writing again! This is not "unexcused"! If you will just listen to me, then you'll understand, Nurse Bolan. Why? Why won't you listen to me? [Nurse Bolen waves goodbye to Joel]
Girl: I had a doctor's appointment.
Joel: '[pushing the girl out of the way] Excuse me. It wasn't the girl, it was my father's car. I put my father's car into Lake Michigan and I had to get it fixed. [Nurse Bolan waves goodbye again] Just give me a break. [grabs Nurse Bolan by her lapels] Let me put it this way. I have spent the last four years of my life busting my butt in this shithole! I'm sorry. I don't think I can leave until I get just a little compassion from you.