Raymond quotes

I'm an excellent driver

Uh oh, fifteen minutes to Wapner.

Uh oh fart.

Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definitely not wearing my underwear.

Are you taking any prescription medication?

Look at this studio...

Qantas never crashed.

One for bad, two for good

Susanna: How was that?
Raymond: Wet.

Dr. Bruner: Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your K-mart clothes, Raymond?
Charlie: Tell him, Raymond.
Raymond: K-mart sucks.

Doctor: Are you autistic?
Raymond: I don't think so. No. Definitely not.

Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you, Raymond?
Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!

Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart.
Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] I'm going out of my mind! Out of my mind! WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CINCINNATI OR WHEREVER!
Raymond: K-Mart!
Charlie: You know what I think, Ray? I think this autism is a bunch of shit! Because you can't tell me that you're not in there somewhere!
Raymond: Boxer shorts. K-Mart!

Charlie: I'll see you in two weeks, okay Raymond?
Raymond: One for bad, two for good.
Charlie: Well, bet two then, Raymond.
Raymond: Yeah.

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the