The Princess Bride quotes
105 total quotesInigo Montoya
Multiple Characters
Prince Humperdinck
Vizzini
Westley
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[Miracle Max inflates Westley's chest with a bellows.]
Miracle Max: Hey! Hello in there. Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for? [presses on Westley's chest to force the air back out]
Westley: [faintly] Truuuuueee.... looooooovvveee.....
Inigo Montoya: [excited] True love! You heard him! You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said! He distinctly said "to blave." And, as we all know, "to blave" means "to bluff," huh? So you're probably playing cards, and he cheated—
Valerie: [popping out from another room] Liar! LIAR! LI-A-A-AR!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!
Miracle Max: You never had it so good.
Valerie: "True love!" He said, "true love," Max! My God—
Miracle Max: Don't say another word, Valerie.
Valerie: [to the others] He's afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence is shattered.
Miracle Max: Why'd you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name!
Valerie: What, Humperdinck? Humperdinck. [begins chasing Max around the house] Humperdinck. Ooo-ooo, Humperdinck!
Miracle Max: [holding his hands over his ears] I'm not listening!
Valerie: True love, life expiring and you don't have the decency to say why you won't help!
Miracle Max: Nobody's hearing nothing!
Valerie: [continues repeating "Humperdinck" at Max]
Inigo Montoya: [simultaneously] This is Buttercup's true love! If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck's wedding.
Miracle Max: [quiets Valerie] Wait, wait- I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?
Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore!
Miracle Max: [laughs and sings briefly] That is a noble cause! Give me the sixty-five. I'm on the job!
Miracle Max: Hey! Hello in there. Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for? [presses on Westley's chest to force the air back out]
Westley: [faintly] Truuuuueee.... looooooovvveee.....
Inigo Montoya: [excited] True love! You heard him! You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said! He distinctly said "to blave." And, as we all know, "to blave" means "to bluff," huh? So you're probably playing cards, and he cheated—
Valerie: [popping out from another room] Liar! LIAR! LI-A-A-AR!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!
Miracle Max: You never had it so good.
Valerie: "True love!" He said, "true love," Max! My God—
Miracle Max: Don't say another word, Valerie.
Valerie: [to the others] He's afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence is shattered.
Miracle Max: Why'd you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name!
Valerie: What, Humperdinck? Humperdinck. [begins chasing Max around the house] Humperdinck. Ooo-ooo, Humperdinck!
Miracle Max: [holding his hands over his ears] I'm not listening!
Valerie: True love, life expiring and you don't have the decency to say why you won't help!
Miracle Max: Nobody's hearing nothing!
Valerie: [continues repeating "Humperdinck" at Max]
Inigo Montoya: [simultaneously] This is Buttercup's true love! If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck's wedding.
Miracle Max: [quiets Valerie] Wait, wait- I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?
Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore!
Miracle Max: [laughs and sings briefly] That is a noble cause! Give me the sixty-five. I'm on the job!
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[The Man in Black challenges Vizzini to determine which goblet of wine is poisoned.]
Vizzini: But it's so simple! All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait 'til I get going! [small pause] Where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something — it won't work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will! And I choose... [points behind the Man in Black and gasps] What in the world can that be?
Man in Black: [Turns to look while Vizzini switches the goblets] What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [chuckles]
Man in Black: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I'll tell you in a minute, but first, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[Vizzini and the Man in Black pick up their respective goblets and, after some gesturing by Vizzini, they drink. Vizzini continues to chuckle.]
Man in Black: [setting down his goblet] You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! [laughs openly] You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" [laughs maniacally for a few seconds, then stops abruptly and falls over dead.]
Vizzini: But it's so simple! All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait 'til I get going! [small pause] Where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something — it won't work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will! And I choose... [points behind the Man in Black and gasps] What in the world can that be?
Man in Black: [Turns to look while Vizzini switches the goblets] What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [chuckles]
Man in Black: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I'll tell you in a minute, but first, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[Vizzini and the Man in Black pick up their respective goblets and, after some gesturing by Vizzini, they drink. Vizzini continues to chuckle.]
Man in Black: [setting down his goblet] You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! [laughs openly] You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!" [laughs maniacally for a few seconds, then stops abruptly and falls over dead.]
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[Westley and Buttercup are traversing the fire swamp. All the while, Westley is cutting away vines with his sword.]
Westley: This will all soon be but a happy memory. Roberts' ship "Revenge" is anchored at the far end. And I, as you know, am Roberts.
Buttercup: But how is that possible, since he's been marauding twenty years and you only left me five years ago?
Westley: I myself am often surprised at life's little quirks. You see, what I told you before about saying "please" was true. It intrigued Roberts, as did my descriptions of your beauty. Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, "All right, Westley, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Roberts and I eventually became friends. And then it happened.
Buttercup: What? Go on.
Westley: Well, Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin and told me his secret. "I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts," he said. "My name is Ryan. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts, either. His name was ****merbund. The real Roberts has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia." Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew, and he stayed aboard for a while as first mate, all the time calling me Roberts. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Roberts ever since. Except, now that we're together, I shall retire and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything clear to you?
Buttercup: [nods at Westley, then gives him a confused expression]
Westley: This will all soon be but a happy memory. Roberts' ship "Revenge" is anchored at the far end. And I, as you know, am Roberts.
Buttercup: But how is that possible, since he's been marauding twenty years and you only left me five years ago?
Westley: I myself am often surprised at life's little quirks. You see, what I told you before about saying "please" was true. It intrigued Roberts, as did my descriptions of your beauty. Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, "All right, Westley, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Roberts and I eventually became friends. And then it happened.
Buttercup: What? Go on.
Westley: Well, Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin and told me his secret. "I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts," he said. "My name is Ryan. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts, either. His name was ****merbund. The real Roberts has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia." Then he explained the name was the important thing for inspiring the necessary fear. You see, no one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley. So we sailed ashore, took on an entirely new crew, and he stayed aboard for a while as first mate, all the time calling me Roberts. Once the crew believed, he left the ship and I have been Roberts ever since. Except, now that we're together, I shall retire and hand the name over to someone else. Is everything clear to you?
Buttercup: [nods at Westley, then gives him a confused expression]
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Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful!
Man in Black: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it. You are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left-handed! [switches to fighting with his right hand]
[The two continue to fight, until the Man in Black is backed against the cliff edge]
Man in Black: You're amazing!
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after twenty years.
Man in Black: There's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either. [switches his sword to his right hand]
Man in Black: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it. You are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left-handed! [switches to fighting with his right hand]
[The two continue to fight, until the Man in Black is backed against the cliff edge]
Man in Black: You're amazing!
Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after twenty years.
Man in Black: There's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either. [switches his sword to his right hand]
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Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man.
[The Man in Black holds up his hand, revealing only five fingers.]
Inigo Montoya: He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done. [unsheaths his sword and hands it to the Man in Black]
Man in Black: [examines the sword with admiration] I have never seen its equal. [hands it back to Inigo]
Inigo Montoya: The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. Six-fingered man leave me alive, but he gave me this. [points to a scar on first one cheek, then the other]
Man in Black: How old were you?
Inigo Montoya: I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Man in Black: You've done nothing but study swordplay?
Inigo Montoya: More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Man in Black: [standing up after a pause in the conversation] Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.
Inigo Montoya: You are ready, then?
Man in Black: Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
Inigo Montoya: [assumes fighting stance] You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: [also assumes fighting stance] You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya: [enthusiastically] Begin!
Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: My father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man.
[The Man in Black holds up his hand, revealing only five fingers.]
Inigo Montoya: He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done. [unsheaths his sword and hands it to the Man in Black]
Man in Black: [examines the sword with admiration] I have never seen its equal. [hands it back to Inigo]
Inigo Montoya: The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so naturally, I challenged his murderer to a duel. I failed. Six-fingered man leave me alive, but he gave me this. [points to a scar on first one cheek, then the other]
Man in Black: How old were you?
Inigo Montoya: I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Man in Black: You've done nothing but study swordplay?
Inigo Montoya: More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
Man in Black: [standing up after a pause in the conversation] Well, I certainly hope you find him someday.
Inigo Montoya: You are ready, then?
Man in Black: Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
Inigo Montoya: [assumes fighting stance] You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: [also assumes fighting stance] You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya: [enthusiastically] Begin!
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Buttercup: I know who you are. Your cruelty reveals everything! You're the Dread Pirate Roberts; admit it!
Man in Black: [bows] With pride! What can I do for you?
Buttercup: You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.
Man in Black: [shakes his head] Hardly complimentary, Your Highness. Why loose your venom on me?
Buttercup: You killed my love.
Man in Black: It's possible; I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another Prince, like this one, ugly, rich, and scabby? [sits down nearby]
Buttercup: No. A farm boy. [gazing off into space in remembrance] Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm. [pauses briefly, then focuses back on the Man in Black] On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
Man in Black: [leaning back leisurely against a rock] I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.
Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something. [gets up and wanders around near Buttercup] I remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?
Buttercup: [not looking at the Man in Black] Nothing you can say will upset me.
Man in Black: He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.
Buttercup: And what am I?
Man in Black: Faithfulness he talked of, madam, your enduring faithfulness! Now, tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
Buttercup: [standing up, more indignant than before] You mocked me once, never do it again! I died that day!
[The Man in Black turns to see Humperdinck's hunting party riding past on the hill above them.]
Buttercup: And you can die too for all I care! [pushes him down the hill]
Man in Black: [tumbling down the hill] Aaaass yooooouuu wiiiiish!
Buttercup: [shocked] Oh, my sweet Westley, what have I done? [jumps down the hill after him]
Man in Black: [bows] With pride! What can I do for you?
Buttercup: You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces.
Man in Black: [shakes his head] Hardly complimentary, Your Highness. Why loose your venom on me?
Buttercup: You killed my love.
Man in Black: It's possible; I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another Prince, like this one, ugly, rich, and scabby? [sits down nearby]
Buttercup: No. A farm boy. [gazing off into space in remembrance] Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm. [pauses briefly, then focuses back on the Man in Black] On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
Man in Black: [leaning back leisurely against a rock] I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.
Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something. [gets up and wanders around near Buttercup] I remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, five years ago? Does it bother you to hear?
Buttercup: [not looking at the Man in Black] Nothing you can say will upset me.
Man in Black: He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.
Buttercup: And what am I?
Man in Black: Faithfulness he talked of, madam, your enduring faithfulness! Now, tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
Buttercup: [standing up, more indignant than before] You mocked me once, never do it again! I died that day!
[The Man in Black turns to see Humperdinck's hunting party riding past on the hill above them.]
Buttercup: And you can die too for all I care! [pushes him down the hill]
Man in Black: [tumbling down the hill] Aaaass yooooouuu wiiiiish!
Buttercup: [shocked] Oh, my sweet Westley, what have I done? [jumps down the hill after him]
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[Westley rescues Buttercup from a pit of lightning sand]
Buttercup: [recovering] We'll never succeed — we may as well die here.
Westley: No. No. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurts. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the Lightning Sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I think they don't exist. [an R.O.U.S. attacks him on cue.]
Buttercup: [recovering] We'll never succeed — we may as well die here.
Westley: No. No. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurts. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding each, we can avoid that. Two, the Lightning Sand. But you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents of Unusual Size? I think they don't exist. [an R.O.U.S. attacks him on cue.]
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Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Man in Black: Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
Man in Black: Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
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Impressive Clergyman: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove…Have you the wing?
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Count Rugen: Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley's got his strength back. I am starting him on The Machine tonight.
Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
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[Inigo, having just been critically injured, gets up and starts advancing on Rugen.]
Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[The two fight for a moment, then pause]
Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
[More fighting ensues. Inigo gains the upper hand.]
Inigo Montoya: [yelling] Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Count Rugen: No!
[Inigo slices Rugen's cheek]
Inigo Montoya: Now! Offer me money!
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo Montoya: [Inigo slices the other cheek] Power too! Promise me that.
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please...
Inigo Montoya: [steps back and gestures dramatically] Offer me everything I ask for!
Count Rugen: Anything you want!
[Rugen takes another lunge at Inigo. Inigo parries and stabs Rugen through the stomach.]
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch. [thrusts his sword into Rugen, then pulls it back out, leaving him to die.]
Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[The two fight for a moment, then pause]
Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
[More fighting ensues. Inigo gains the upper hand.]
Inigo Montoya: [yelling] Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!
Count Rugen: No!
[Inigo slices Rugen's cheek]
Inigo Montoya: Now! Offer me money!
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo Montoya: [Inigo slices the other cheek] Power too! Promise me that.
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please...
Inigo Montoya: [steps back and gestures dramatically] Offer me everything I ask for!
Count Rugen: Anything you want!
[Rugen takes another lunge at Inigo. Inigo parries and stabs Rugen through the stomach.]
Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch. [thrusts his sword into Rugen, then pulls it back out, leaving him to die.]
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Inigo Montoya: Hello there. [The Man In Black glances up and grunts] Slow going?
Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Inigo Montoya: Sorry.
Man in Black: Thank you.
[A moment passes. Inigo returns to the edge.]
Inigo Montoya: I do not suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man in Black: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo Montoya: Is there any way you'll trust me?
Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo Montoya: [seriously] I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man in Black: [pauses] Throw me the rope.
Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Inigo Montoya: Sorry.
Man in Black: Thank you.
[A moment passes. Inigo returns to the edge.]
Inigo Montoya: I do not suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man in Black: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo Montoya: Is there any way you'll trust me?
Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo Montoya: [seriously] I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man in Black: [pauses] Throw me the rope.
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Inigo Montoya: You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, eh?
Man in Black: I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya: Naturally you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.
Man in Black: Naturally. But I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
Inigo Montoya: [pushes the Man in Black off a shelf onto lower ground] Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa, which I have! [jumps and flips over the Man in Black]
Man in Black: I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya: Naturally you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.
Man in Black: Naturally. But I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
Inigo Montoya: [pushes the Man in Black off a shelf onto lower ground] Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa, which I have! [jumps and flips over the Man in Black]
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[Westley is lying weak on the bed, having just been challenged by Prince Humperdinck.]
Humperdinck: To the death!
Westley: No! To the pain.
Humperdinck: [pauses] I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
Humperdinck: [flinching angrily] That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Humperdinck: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right—
Humperdinck: [exasperated] And then my ears, I understand! Let's get on with it—
Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Humperdinck: [pauses] I think you're bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all. [standing slowly and holding out his sword] Drop. Your. Sword.
Humperdinck: To the death!
Westley: No! To the pain.
Humperdinck: [pauses] I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
Humperdinck: [flinching angrily] That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Humperdinck: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right—
Humperdinck: [exasperated] And then my ears, I understand! Let's get on with it—
Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Humperdinck: [pauses] I think you're bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, pig. I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. Then again, perhaps I have the strength after all. [standing slowly and holding out his sword] Drop. Your. Sword.
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Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marrying Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the Princess, and make our escape after I kill Count Rugen.